Deceit is something many of us may grapple with. In the real world, lying continues to exist in our everyday and in our personal lives. Deceit comes in many forms.
Deceit is bad, but made worse if you’re on the other side of it and it happens around family. But however, you choose to define deceit, one size doesn’t fit all. When someone seeks to promote a belief, concept, or idea against someone they have an issue with that is untrue, things can never work out.
Understanding Deceit
To understand why people choose to be deceitful, you need to look at the underlying reasons why, being conservative with the truth, or telling you what they want you to hear counts. I say choose because everything we do is by choice, whether it’s a conscious or an unconscious choice.
Jealousy and Deceit
There are various reasons why. The primary reason is jealously, they may also be trying to fool others for their own personal gain, because they believe others owe them that privilege. It is a falsehood, but it is symptomatic of childhood. Other times, they have their own agenda and they don't care to change.
When deceit is allowed to continue, and it does so over a period of years it becomes a ‘web of deceit.’ People who choose to lie are abusive, toxic and manipulative, they show a lack of remorse and often blames others when conflict arises. They have difficulty relating to others. It’s as if they are ready to lie about everything.
The reality is that with work on ourselves, we can all choose to change. Change is open to all of us. We have to want to change to do better, to be better people.
Deceit was a normal thing in the world that I grew up in, both my parents were masters at it. My Father did it out in the open while my mother did it passive-aggressively, to manipulate us into doing what she wanted us to do.
They would get what they wanted from people, trotting us out like show ponies and/or orphans, depending on the situation. I'm sure that's why I believed people who lied straight to my face, since I didn't know anything different. It's not the kind of person I wanted to become and now I'm trying to do things differently to make up for the mistakes I made.
I'm also not the monster some people have made me out to be, even though I tried my best. I tried so hard to be different than my parents but thanks to them I kept making the same mistakes they did. I'm doing my best to change that.
Thanks Randy. You're no more a monster than I am. The sad reality is that not everyone looks at their own misgivings or failings, instead they may lay the blame elsewhere.
We all have a social responsibility to others and a responsibility to ourselves to accept our misgivings. It's important to accept we fail. It's also important not to lie when we fail, particularly if we are responsible for others.
Your parents allegiance was with you and your siblings. I think they will know in spirit now what they did and what they should have done.
Life is short. Covid-19 shows just how vulnerable we all are. It is for that reason, it is even more important we work at being honest, open and transparent. There is no place for deceit.