"From around the age of 9 or 10, I was already putting some of the pieces of my life together, around my spiritual beliefs. We may have a deep understanding of our lives, from an early age, but we may not always be ready or in a position to change things. What is important is that we have the understanding, because without the understanding, nothing can change.
With deep understanding I came to understand the essence of my disability. In other words, we come to understand the most important characteristic which gives that something its identity. When we can make sense of something, our understanding is automatically deepened, and the information we have can be used in new ways to change situations, circumstances and issues.
Deeper understanding helps us to reason with what we know, so that we can change. Through growth, we can choose not to hold on to the things that no longer serve us.
Having a deeper understanding, helps us to also stop making premature judgments. A deeper understand can help us to enhance our relationships, which can help bring about healthier outcomes."
My deep understanding came with time and tragedy. But life is as mysterious as death, which makes the road to understanding a little complicated at times.
I'll be forever on that road.
Thanks Tim. Yes, I can resonate with you. Sometimes it's hard to equate things for ourselves, primarily because we've lived through the experiences, and because the mind plays tricks. I think you may surprise yourself.
Although I understood things early on, when it came to my disability it was a completely different story. I don't think we ever fully understand, because there are always things that go unsaid.
The only way we might understand is to ask those awkward questions, but even with our questions, would families be prepared to answer?
I have always had a deep understanding but never had the chance to take advantage of it, since I wasn't exactly encouraged. My parents went well out of their way to discourage my dreams, so it's no wonder I've had so many issues.
I've watched my daughter end up with the same mindset thanks to my negligence and her mother's abuse, which is truly sad; seeing as she could have such a great life even though she has cerebral palsy.
The most I can try to do is be a power of example to her, while I work on learning how to live my own life, which I have to believe is possible at this point.
Thanks Randy. Don't be too hard on yourself.
How our parents parent isn't something we just work out overnight, and unless you're insightful and you understand your life in the early years, it's difficult to change anything.
What you did Randy wasn't premeditated. You just didn't wake up one day and choose to neglect your duties as a father.
It's clear you've struggled, therefore you would also struggle to help your daughter. It is important she understands and you are able to explain.
Children do explanations well and although explanations may not always bring the desired effect, eventually those explanations will filter through.
Hopefully your daughter will come to understand your struggle also.