I would say I am emotionally strong, independent, confident and okay with making decisions, even though it has taken me a lot of years to get to this point.
This used to happen to me as a child and every now and again it still happens that when I’m under pressure I make decisions based on an unconscious level, which when I go away and think about wish I hadn’t. Back then it was because I wanted to please people.
When I'm not under pressure in normal circumstances, I’m completely in control of my thoughts and any decisions I go on to make. Under pressure my guard seems to drop and I find myself making decisions that I later go on to regret.
I also find that in a situation where I’m with other people who are more outspoken and confident than me, I am easily swayed by their opinions, rather than my own thoughts. It’s a good job that it doesn’t happen very often or I would really be in trouble.
It would be interesting to hear from other people who show similar character traits when they’re under pressure. I'd love you to get in touch.
You have described me too.
Under pressure I usually make the wrong decision and later regret it. I like to please people most of the time, but sometimes I go with my gut and refuse to be swayed. I am usually happier with these decisions.
Sometimes I go with others and I end up happy with the decision. For example, the other day my husband wanted to go play golf at this 9-hole, par 3 course and take our son. I really wasn't keen on the idea, because I knew we would be looking after him most of the time and be unable to fully enjoy ourselves.
I went anyway because I could tell this was something my husband really wanted to do. I had never been golfing before in my life. We ended up having a blast. Our son was interested in the first 5 holes, then he wanted to look at the trees and other things out in nature, so we played golf and let him explore. We had our eye on him at all times and still was able to enjoy ourselves.
When I was younger I would go with the crowd just so I wouldn't be the odd man out, even though some of the things we ended up doing would wind me up in trouble, but I wanted to fit in.
Thanks Lisa. As you say when you're under pressure you make the wrong decision which you later go on to regret. I think what you've said is key.
When we're young and want to fit in, the decision you made is probably the decisions, others will have made. That's normal I feel. In those circumstances responsibility and common sense tend to go out the window. All we're bothered about is fitting in.
No, it's definitely not just you!
I was a strong, independent child but after so many years of being forced to just go along with everything, it turned out to be easier to give in. I've naturally been a people pleaser to my own detriment, when I've done what other people wanted me to do, versus what I really wanted to do. When you do this for so long, you really come to forget what you wanted to do in the first place.
It has amazed me how many people can pick up on that and use it to their advantage to get what they want from you. They play you like a marionette without you even realizing it, until after the fact!
I've made so many life decisions because of that which makes me very angry when I think of things that I could've done. I feel really cheated in so many ways, when I think of what might have been rather than the way things are now!
In any case, it's not something I should dwell on for too long, since it brings up a lot of very negative emotions! What I have to concentrate on is just today because yesterday is gone and tomorrow hasn't happened yet.
I really don't want to be one of those miserable people sitting in a nursing home hating the world and everyone in it! I've wasted far too much of my life already doing that, so I'm going to at least attempt to enjoy the time I have left!
Thanks Randy. I was beginning to wonder if was just me! Perhaps now it may be time for you to make the changes you want to make, but unfortunately for us, making these kind of changes mean us coming out of our comfort zone.
I made the decision in my thirties to turn things around and haven't looked back on that decision. Only when I'm under stress do I slightly revert back and it's usually when I have to make a decision around buying something, like an item of clothing!!