It helps when people have empathy towards each other. It also helps to be around others who are empathetic, but does it make relationships or friendships harder when empathy is only used by one of you?

It certainly makes for very challenging times when one person is empathetic and the other isn't. When one person doesn't empathise, it’s always difficult for the other person to know how to react. It's a fact that understanding, compassion and empathy all make for better relationships.

Not everyone is empathetic, but it helps if you have a little understanding as to how someone else might feel. I think more people would be understanding, if they just took the time to listen. If we’re not being understanding, it’s usually because we’re not listening, or we don't care. We’re not listening because we’re usually thinking about something else. We’re not giving the other person time.

Unfortunately, when we don’t use empathy, we can come across as being cold and aloof, but as long as cold and aloof doesn’t mean were evasive, calculating or manipulative there’s no real reason why we can’t be friends with someone who doesn’t have these characteristics. It's a matter of finding common ground.

It's important to have like-minded people in our life who behave in similar ways. That way we automatically have something in common, which makes communicating easier. Being friends with someone who is the total opposite can make things slightly awkward, particularly if we disagree on our beliefs and methods.

We’re all different. Some people are humorous, some people may use sarcasm as a communication tool, some of us may be shy and reserved and although that can be difficult sometimes, it's important to have a balance, so people complement each other.

Without the empathy of course, there will be little understanding. I believe all relationships need empathy to thrive. It would be enormously difficult to have a partner, let alone a soul partner without it.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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