Some families have a lot to answer for. Too often issues are brought into the equation by other family members that don’t belong to us and will interfere in our daily lives.
As long as we’re not responsible for those issues, there is no need for us to carry them, as if they were our own. It's easy to unconsciously apportion blame to those of us who are connected by association, for us getting caught up in the crossfire on issues we're then expected to deal with.
Whatever family issues we're expected to deal with that aren’t ours, start by taking blame out of the equation. Nothing ever gets solved when we start off with blame. Unfortunately, blame becomes the bigger issue, than the issue itself.
True. People start off with the blame game. It's like they have to blame someone for the problems.
My family currently has some issues we need to work out and the first thing we want to do is blame someone. I know that's not going to solve anything by blaming someone for the problems. We just need to sit down and figure out a plan and get on with it.
When we're involved with others, it is easy to get involved in their issues. Most of us have enough stress and don't need anymore, especially if it really doesn't involve us. We need to gracefully bow out of the situation.
Usually if we give advice we end up getting blamed for something so we just need to leave well enough alone.
Thanks Lisa. It's easy to get involved in other people's issues or sometimes other people involve us. It's often not something we ask for, it's just there and we're expected to conform. That has been my experience in the past.
I hope you manage to sort out your own family issues. You're absolutely right though, to blame doesn't solve anything. It only adds to more stress.
Guilt by association seems to be a running theme with things that are going on lately!
I grew up in that kind of environment so it was pretty horrible at times. Once people found out who my father was, it was automatically assumed that I would be just like him! I was reminded of this fact when my father mentioned yesterday that he believed that my grandmother had cursed our family which I grew up hearing.
Considering a lot of the things we went through, I had to wonder at times if it was true. It's amazing how much I have had to let go of that had nothing at all to do with me, that they forced me to carry for all of these years!
Thanks Randy. Slightly different circumstances, but I can certainly resonate with your explanation. I think it's a parents' job to protect their children's from harms way. It's a shame your parents didn't have the foresight not to include you in their issues with your grandmother.
I'm pleased you've managed to let some of it go. I am sure there will be more people out there, who will be able to resonate with you.