As a society, we tend to form judgments about people very quickly. If we see someone who is overweight we’ve already assumed it’s because they're eating too much or they're not watching their health.

We fail to take things they're dealing with into consideration, for example whether someone has a family history of weight problems, or whether they have a medical reason for their weight gain. Either way we’re too quick to judge.

I have always taken the time to instill good ethics in my children. I believe there is always a bigger picture to most or all of the issues we deal with, regardless of what other people see. We take very little time to get to know people beyond what we see, or what we think we know about them.

Unless we walk a mile in another person's shoes, we shouldn’t be quick to judge their colour, their race or their sexual orientation. When we make time to get to know someone, we will always make better decisions about that person and will therefore be less likely to stand in judgment.

First impressions aren’t always correct. We’re also not here to pass judgment on other people and that if we need to pass judgment, we must pass judgment on ourselves. It’s not right for us to pass judgment on another.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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8 comments on “First impressions”

  1. Anyone with s physical disability knows how difficult it is to be judged almost on sight.

    I have learned to use my voice and my personality to overcome this. If you let a person get to know you they will see beyond the outside and get to know THE REAL YOU.

    My friends know the real me and accept who I am. In fact they never see my disability. They see my abilities as a person. What I can do.

    1. I cannot remember that far back as a child, but I think you're right people with disabilities do tend to struggle more with other people's acceptance of them.

      I'm pleased your friends have accepted you warts 'n' all. That's the way it should be. Thanks Randy.

        1. I'm not sure whether it's an English terminology or not but we all have warts and all. Yes it's another meaning for flaws... we all have flaws LOL!

  2. I totally agree with you. We shouldn't pass judgement on others we don't know. I tried to instill this also in my two daughters also. One takes the advice and the other is bad at judging others and things.

    I was judged a lot when I was young, due to being over weight and having diabetes. It made me feel insecure and like an outcast.

    It's wrong to do this to people and if we can't rightly judge ourselves we shouldn't judge others.

    1. Children tend to have to make their own mistakes and learn for themselves. As parents we sew the seed then it's up to them Lisa.

      Unfortunately you learned the hard way, but in doing so now understand what it means to judge someone and be judged yourself and have chosen not to do it.

      One of life's lesson. You're right it's totally wrong.

  3. I had a wart once but I picked it and it didn't grow back! Apart from that I agree we shouldn't judge a book by it's cover.

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