Trying too hard to make any relationship work means the relationship is forced. Forced relationships can be uncomfortable and hard work and yet those are what many of us deal with. No relationship should ever be forced. Anything forced will never fit.
I’m not sure we always consciously make the connection. Our routines play out unconsciously. But forced relationships aren’t just subjected to one-on-one relationships, they happen in families too.
In some circumstances though, being forced doesn’t necessarily mean we’re doing something against our will, it means we're trying too hard to make something work. There are different ways to look at something that is forced.
Unfortunately, we spend a lifetime trying to figure out how to make relationships work. We spend a lifetime, putting a huge amount of energy into trying to convince not only ourselves, but our other half that we’re perfect for each other. Any relationship that needs that amount of energy to make it work, will never work.
Like a good wine, conversations and relationships should flow. Two souls that come together don't need to be continually worked on. When emotional barriers go up, everything becomes forced. Either we're not getting it, we don't want to admit, or we scared to move on to the unfamiliar. We also struggle to admit what’s obvious and staring us in the face.
As the familiar serves as a gentle reminder of where we are, we fail to see or accept that we must make new decisions, if we want to change our lives moving forward.
I guess if you don't feel comfortable then a relationship will never work, but that all depends on how the relationship began.
Nonetheless, once people are in relationships, they continue for many reasons; not all for the right reasons. It would be nice to think all relationships are effortless, but real life gets in the way. I wonder how many of us can honestly say we have the relationship you describe?
But that is different from a relationship that is forced from the beginning as I believe that is fated to fail.
Thank you. Yes, I agree it would be lovely to see relationships thrive, for couples, families, all relationships to work effortlessly.
Forced relationships are that little bit more difficult, but can be effortless if both parties want to make the marriage or partnership work. Relationships that aren't spontaneous are sometimes forced.
Although I agree with your sentiment about life, I'm not sure how relevant that is. Yes, life gets in the way, but instead of us using it to go back in and to support each other, we use it instead to bail, which is why more people are getting divorced.
Regardless, I feel we must go back to basics on this. Sadly, letting life get in the way, many have lost their way.