How many times have you walked away from a situation, waiting for someone else to apologise after crossed words? In the bigger scheme of things, by making the first move, you will know that you were the adult in the relationship and you took back control.
Learning to forgive without holding resentment and bitterness, is the first step to personal growth and becoming at one with yourself. If you can’t forgive, letting go of feelings that hurt you will allow you to lead a more peaceful life.
Shake off the negativity and remember that forgiving someone doesn’t mean you condone that person's actions. You may not forget, but it means you’re no longer going to let what they did, control your every thought. It is important for you not to let anger eat away at your emotions.
And so long as your conscience is clear, it doesn’t matter what the other person thinks. What matters is what you think.
I agree with everything you have said. With me I have found that being angry can lead to not so good behavior. It can lead to doing stupid things that you regret later. This comes from personal experience. We can for the most part choose who we have in our lives except for family we have deal with the good and bad with them.
I know we all deal with trying to forgive in different ways and what probably works for one person, doesn't work for another, but I do understand we all deal with anger in different ways.
As far as family is concerned, I believe we still can choose who we allow in our lives, we just have to have the strength of character and courage to take our lives the way we deem fit with or without certain members of our family in it.
I also agree with you. I have been there so many times and I haven't had the guts to confront this person yet cause they are family and I guess I'm just chicken about it. I don't like harboring bad feelings and acting like everything is okay, but I do with this person.
At the time I was being really ugly towards this person, so I feel they had a right to say what they did. But in my heart I forgave them. But it still eats at me sometimes. It was after my father had died and my mother had a heart attack, so I was under considerable stress at the time and I felt they should have understood that.That was why I was the way I was 'cause of the stress.
Losing someone like my father was very devastating to me cause I had a very close relationship with him, so I lashed out at her and her husband. I guess I should explain myself to them and apoligize for my actions and tell them I forgive them for their actions.
Lisa it is really a shame the people you speak of didn't see beyond your stress. If everything had been perfect before that time and they knew you completely, they will have understood you were already going through stress, so would have forgiven you for any indiscretions.
It may be a good idea now to go in and bury the hatchet, see if you can finally bring all of what you feel to a close.
If they don't accept your new intentions, I'm not sure they would have done in the first instance. You lose nothing to try, the rest will be up to them.
I couldn't agree more Ilana. Took me way too long to even start learning this lesson but i think I'm getting better and better at it.
It doesn't matter how long it takes Scott as long as you conquer it. It will certainly bring you more peace.
I agree with what you have said. A lot of times I think that people know they should forgive people, but it is another thing to implement that action.
Personally, I have a difficult time with it as well. It's slowly beginning to become a little bit easier to see though.
So pleased LeAnna.
I have found that the act of forgiveness has freed me and allowed me to move on with my life. I do agree that it's not a ticket for the forgiven to walk all over me, it simply is something I have to use to clear my mind. The offender never even has to know of the forgiving and sometimes shouldn't be told because it's not even about their needs.
I am pleased that works for you.
I never like to hurt anyone, but I have learned to my cost that if I don't speak out and at least get my point across, I am taken advantage of. That seemed to be the case whilst growing up... we don't all work from the same book!
We have to find what works for us and act accordingly to try and bring peace back into our lives.