Family behaviour has a history of repeating itself with future generations. Those behaviour patterns passed through the generations will dictate how we communicate with other family members and how we get to live our lives.
Behaviour patterns
Those behaviour patterns determine our opinions, our beliefs and our decisions. They will also influence our own behaviour. As a result, we will unconsciously fail to change anything and will continue to emulate the same behaviour patterns unless we make a conscious effort to do things differently.
Children and their parameters
The truth is that if our parents don't deal with conflict, we can’t avoid it. If our parents are pacifists, we will also be pacifists. As children, we learn to grow and evolve around the parameters set out by our parents. If our parents and family are positive role models, we should become positive role models also.
Trauma passed through the generations
As each generation’s trauma are passed down from generation to generation, those traumas will have an influence on our children through us and will pass on to future generations. Previous generations, whether they know it or not, will always have an influence on future generations.
Parents are teachers
I believe as parents, it is our job to teach our children how to develop valuable learning skills, instead of us unconsciously relying on what’s been passed down through the generations.
I totally agree with you. I've seen it happen so many times.
The parents act a certain way and the child grows up and acts the same way. I've also seen where the child is treated a certain way and when they grow up they treat their children the way they were treated. That's the pattern with abuse.
It's one of the things we learned in our fostering parent classes. If the abuse is to stop it has to be changed. My first husband grew up in an abusive family and unfortunately witnessed his father abusing his mother, so he was a little abusive himself and at times treated me the way his father treated his mom.
To stop the pattern the person has to be determined to stop and change their behavior or the behavior will continue to the next generation and so on down the line.
Thanks Lisa. I agree with your thoughts. Our behaviour whatever that behaviour is, will always continue to the next generation. As the saying goes, 'the buck stops with us' and has to.
I agree with what you have said here. Thankfully my brother and I have taken after our dear beloved late mother.
Her Family (our grandparents) were kind and considerate. They were a model of how to treat people.
My father's side were very unhappy people and it showed in how my grandfather treated people. He was mean.
This is so sad Randy, although I believe your grandparents on your father's side will have taught both you and your brother a very great lesson, how to be better people.