It's been 15 months now since the UK initially went into lockdown in March 2021 due to Covid-19, and with the outside world feeling beyond my reach mentally and emotionally, today is a pinnacle moment. I managed to go out.

Yes, going out for the first time to a grocery store, I feel as though I have reached the top of a mountain and I couldn't be prouder. I hope I can continue to move forward and feel confident about going out as and when I need to. I’m still not comfortable with going to restaurants or coffee shops to sit outside, but like today, if I need to go out, I think I could do it again.

Taking responsibility

If each of us took responsibility and followed the rules, then more people, who are high risk might feel more comfortable venturing out. Although people are wearing masks in public, their masks are not covering their mouths and noses, they’re either under their chin or covering their mouth, but not their nose.

So, out today in a grocery store, there was someone sat behind a till, his mask didn’t cover his nose, so instead of using him to pay for our groceries, we opted to pay self-service instead. Out in the fresh air the virus dissipates, but with autism and mental health issues, it still carries a concern and that’s not helpful.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

Most people who read this blog

went on to read these blogs next
Date 26 July 2026
Author Ilana Estelle

Living with Difference

Seen, Misjudged, Rarely Understood For most of my life, I lived in the dark. Not because I didn't know I was different, but because I didn't yet have the understanding to explain why life always felt harder than it seemed to be ...
Read more
Date 24 July 2026
Author Ilana Estelle

The Hidden Effects of Loss

Some consequences aren't immediate, they're cumulative It's five months into four years through twin loss, and I've split another tooth. On its own, it's an ordinary event. But it's an event that made me stop and look back ...
Read more
Date 19 July 2026
Author Ilana Estelle

What Writing Taught Me About Self-Understanding

How writing became more than a creative outlet When I started writing, I had no idea where it would lead. I simply needed somewhere to put my thoughts – a place to make sense of experiences I struggled to understand ...
Read more
1 2 3 681

2 comments on “Going out for the first time”

  1. You should be as enormously proud of yourself as we are of this massive step. I imagine this was a huge turning point for you.

    Keep in mind you can only go at your pace. You're doing great and just do what you are comfortable doing.

    1. Thank you. Yes, it's a huge step for me and I am pleased I was able to do it. It usually happens around the time I struggle and I desperate for some kind of change.

      Up until that point, I deal with the usual autism traits, and that stops me from making the changes I need to move forward.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Subscribe to receive regular updates

Enter your details below to be the first to receive updates on new articles on my blog.