An 'excerpt from a blog on grief' - by Sarah Paris, medium.com/@parissb
"When my little brother died, I wanted the world to stop.
Why wasn’t the weight of my grief shared by the random strangers laughing as they strolled downtown, carefree and unaffected?
Why weren’t my friends weeping with me? Didn’t they know that Matt was the amazing towheaded kid whose short-lived little league career ended because he was petrified of hurting someone with each hit baseball?
Didn’t they comprehend that Matt understood my dreams, talents, and dark, deep depression like no one else could?
Unfair and self-centered, but that’s the nature of grief. Our experiences with raw grief are singular. Exceptional others may sit beside us as we heal and others may empathize, but no one has the same journey we endure."
My Grief
I resonate deeply with Sarah's thoughts on her grief. It feels raw. I am living with and have been struggling with grief through the loss of my twin, made worse through having to deal with illness also and in the pandemic, but I'm not ignoring it. Like all relationships, our relationships wasn't perfect, we were living separate lives, but we knew if the chips were down, we would be there for each other.
When I was losing my twin I thought I would cope. I could piece my thoughts together and I would be okay. Like everyone, we all want and hope others will want to help, to understand what we're going through, to understand our grief, the journey we've had to endure.
And while grief sets the tone differently for each of us, others have to want to understand, to help, to catch us when we fall. It would be nice to think others will help us work through grief, to understand and if they don't; to care, to empathise, for however long it takes for us to come through. Grief is isolating, it's difficult, it's scary. We need to heal.
There is no expiry date on grief, we all come through differently and if there is, it ends when you place the void where silence once resided; when the silence lessens, when you start to feel comfortable and you no longer feel pain or panic in your heart.
When you can smile when her name is mentioned. When you finally understand your life together. Their reasoning, the relationship you had, the ups and downs and when there becomes no need for judgment.
