I have come to understand that healing is not always about fixing what is wrong. As my experience shows, some things are beyond our control, and therefore healing becomes about learning to live differently.
I live with healing as an ongoing necessity, not because I am actively choosing to avoid life, but because maintaining my wellbeing requires continual care and attention.
Before I can live, I have to be well.
For me, healing is not simply a spiritual journey or preparation for life beyond this one. Having lived with trauma for all of my life, the majority of my time on earth has been devoted to learning how to live well despite its lasting effects.
I have only ever known trauma.
When the mind is continually in flight or fight, it can be difficult to make decisions about how we want to live and the life we want to create.
My experiences have also taught me that healing has to come first. It's not about waiting for life to become perfect, but about learning to live with greater self-compassion, awareness and tolerance as part of the healing process.
Discovering later in life that I have both cerebral palsy and autism has been a journey of self-discovery. It has taught me to listen to myself, recognise my needs and understand that looking after my wellbeing will always be an ongoing part of my life.
The CP Diary is where I share my experiences, the challenges I continue to face and the understanding I have gained along the way. Through my writing and books, I also reflect on what healing means to me.
It's all part of the healing process.
I am not healing to become someone different. I am healing to live more fully as myself – for myself.
This is my journey of healing earth side.
