We often don’t stop to think that what we're saying will not only get us into trouble, but will hurt someone else. As a child who was angry, I always got myself into trouble.
Although my family never worked out why I was so angry, my mum did ask me to think about what I was saying and if I couldn't say anything nice, I shouldn't say anything at all. Although I wasn't always the only one she said it to, it really is a shame she didn’t go a step further to understand why I was so angry.
It would go on to take me many years to put her words into practice. I believe we must learn to engage our thoughts, then act on those thoughts, but head space matters. It's the backbone to all communication.
Without a better head space, how we express ourselves will always leave room for question and as I see it, the problem is when others fail to ask why and assume you're one way because it's just you.
My mom used to say, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." So I try to keep my mouth shut if something will hurt someone.
I don't even like telling someone the truth if it is going to hurt them. I think watching what we say is always good practice.
Thanks Lisa. I agree with you that watching what we say is always good practice. Things said cannot be taken back so it's worth getting it right first time.
I was an angry child too. I felt a lot of frustration and jealousy for being the only disabled person in the family. But I don't regret the way I behaved back then. I was just a child that didn't know how to control my emotions and at times I was pushed to my limits.
Nowadays when I get angry I still say things I regret later. I tell my husband not to give much importance to what I say when I'm angry. Fortunately, he's understanding.
Your sentence, 'I was just a child that didn't know how to control my emotions…' resonates with my greatly Maria.
As children we're not capable of understanding what it is we're dealing with or why we're different from our siblings and other children, but that doesn't stop our siblings and parents often treating us in a way that's totally inappropriate.
My family often put my behaviour down to 'just me' when that wasn't the case at all. Angry children are angry for a reason and unless our problems are dealt with in childhood, we can go through our adult life in the same way.
I don't regret the way I behaved as a child either, now you've put it like that. Thank you. It's such a shame my family didn't help me to deal with what I had to deal with. My life would have been so much easier. I am sure yours will have been too.