Why do we ignore or get cross when someone tries to say something constructive that may help us? If you’re the type of person that doesn’t take to criticism easily, whether it’s constructive or not, you’ll probably struggle with this.

It stands to reason that we will learn more from other people’s suggestions, than we may initially know ourselves. Not everyone will know or manage to work things out the first time around. A different perspective always helps and as much as we would like to think we know everything, we don’t.

We never stop learning, bringing in new understandings. What we could do better with though, is learning how to let other people into our lives. Let them tell us things without us taking offence, because we either don’t like what they say, or we don’t agree.

That’s probably a good first lesson. A lesson that will open the door to even more understanding and knowledge that we didn't have before.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

Most people who read this blog

went on to read these blogs next
Date 26 July 2026
Author Ilana Estelle

Living with Difference

Seen, Misjudged, Rarely Understood For most of my life, I lived in the dark. Not because I didn't know I was different, but because I didn't yet have the understanding to explain why life always felt harder than it seemed to be ...
Read more
Date 24 July 2026
Author Ilana Estelle

The Hidden Effects of Loss

Some consequences aren't immediate, they're cumulative It's five months into four years through twin loss, and I've split another tooth. On its own, it's an ordinary event. But it's an event that made me stop and look back ...
Read more
Date 19 July 2026
Author Ilana Estelle

What Writing Taught Me About Self-Understanding

How writing became more than a creative outlet When I started writing, I had no idea where it would lead. I simply needed somewhere to put my thoughts – a place to make sense of experiences I struggled to understand ...
Read more
1 2 3 681

4 comments on “Ignoring constructive criticism”

  1. It can be difficult to accept constructive criticism, because we usually take it personally.

    If the constructive criticism comes from someone that cares for us, we should realize that they only want to help us. Like you say we might get a different perspective on how to deal with an issue.

    1. Thanks Maria. I think if we put that concept in the forefront of our minds, I am sure more of us would be open to other people's constructive criticism, when it comes to our actions or issues.

      It's always hard though not to take things personally in the heat of the moment. A human failing I feel.

  2. A lot of people dislike constructive criticism and just see it as negative and personally as Maria says.

    It can take a while for us to mature into the person who can see and accept that there is nothing wrong with criticism if it is intended to be helpful, but a lot of criticism has a hidden agenda and can be intended to be hurtful.

    It's all about perception. One person's faults and mistakes may not necessarily register as that with everyone. If it is intended to be negative, we can all do without that sot of criticism.

    1. We must know our customers. If criticism is coming from a place of care from a person who cares about us, the way they talk and what they say should only be seen as coming from a place of care.

      If on the other hand the person criticising (constructive or not) is always angry and bitter about their lives, you'll know because it will become obvious through their tone. Having been in that angry place as a child I know how it works, particularly when we're hurting ourselves.

      Maturity as you say will help us understand how to deal with criticism of both kinds.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Subscribe to receive regular updates

Enter your details below to be the first to receive updates on new articles on my blog.