My mental health always takes a knock around illness, particularly around a terminal illness. Autism doesn’t lend itself and my anxiety levels currently are high.
My autism isn’t bad enough for me to be mentally unaware of what’s going on around me. Come to think of it, I’ve never been good around illness. Even as a small child, anything illness related, freaked me out.
It is because my 'spiritual' beliefs are so strong, that the idea of losing someone close doesn’t fear me anymore. I believe there is a life after death. I believe in the ‘spirit world’ and believe in the afterlife.
What I have always had a hard time coming to terms with is dealing with and watching someone close to me struggle through illness that leads them to their untimely death. My twin is too young. She struggled with mental health.
As the child, I remember the same painful struggles and memories. With no safety net, as the adult it makes this all worse. Parents are our safety net. Without my parents, I am on my own, dealing with autism which is a struggle, and trying to cope with my twin’s terminal illness.
I can only imagine how you must be feeling. I can relate to your 'safety net' comment as a relative said exactly the same thing to me when his mum passed a few years ago.
I am sure your CP Diary community join me in saying you and your twin are in our thoughts.
Thank you. Yes, illness is a difficult one to get your head around, made more complex when you deal with mental health struggles. Even if we don't see our parents as a safety net, it is another generation before yours and that becomes your safety net.
We can only do what we can do, in the hope that others understand.