We tend to initiate certain changes for ourselves, which we’re okay with, but often when change is imposed on us through circumstances and other people, we’re not so okay.
Exciting changes and apprehension
Certain changes like moving to a new house, going back to school or moving jobs are exciting changes, but whilst we’re initiating those changes, we may still feel apprehension and concern over whether those changes will come out right. We tend to reconcile our thoughts, so that they fit in with our wants and needs.
Changes that are imposed on us
What about change that is imposed on us by circumstances, are those experiences likely to feel different? It would be easy to feel different about them. In some ways, change that we’re not prepared for can make us feel fearful, even frightened. In circumstances where we must deal with unexpected change, we may find ourselves resisting change altogether.
It’s normal and comes with the territory. We’re hesitant because we're not sure and will resist anything we’re not sure about. It took me a long time to get my ahead around a non-disability, but knew that without changing my perceptions and making myself strong, I would never work through the inevitability of change around those perceptions.
Although finding out what I had been struggling with for all those years was quite daunting, working through that change, changed my life forever. Although hard, I bit the bullet as they say and made a conscious decision that it needed to happen and that I needed to know.
Change becomes inevitable
Generally, change becomes inevitable. Nothing ever stays the same. That being the case, we should therefore learn to embrace change more, whether we initiate it or not.
Change brought on by things out of the person's control are terrible, such as a death in the family and the people who are left to pick up the slack. That is what I have been doing for the past 8 plus years after the death of my mother.
I had to step in to cook and help with other things such as balancing the household accounts and so forth. It would be better if it was appreciated, but it is expected of me.
Not once has my father said thank you in all that time, sad.
I feel for you Randy and see where you're coming from. The change you've had to deal with has been brought about by your father's inability to do what he should be doing as a parent and that's to support his child, you.
It's very sad that he has left you to pick up the slack after your mother died. Even if you got a thank you from him, it's not your job, you're the child.
As far as a parents death is concerned, we all at some point have to come to terms with losing a parent, that is something we have to adapt to and that can be difficult of course, but we're often resilient enough to bounce back. Time is a great healer. We move on eventually.
I like routine but change is good so we don't get in a rut.
Unexpected change is tough to deal with. You have no time to adapt. It's like BOOM! and it happens.
Ditto I agree with your thoughts. It's much tougher to adapt when we're unexpectedly having to face change, but I don't necessarily see that as a bad thing.
I believe having a positive outlook always helps.