We can choose to squander our hours away thinking about the things we could have done but didn’t, or we can begin to focus on the things we can do in the present time.

We can dwell on our previous mistakes, or we can focus on making progress instead. We can think about the opportunities we could have taken, or we can think about the opportunities we have now.

Life has taught me there will always be things we can dwell on, but there’s no point in dwelling or looking back. Each new day will bring new opportunities, opportunities to change our thoughts to bring about new changes. Opportunities to move on with our lives and opportunities to embrace new experiences.

Unfortunately, when we choose to continually look back, we lose the opportunity, seize the day to change what is to what could be.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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6 comments on “It's our choice”

  1. Very true. My mom used to tell me to quit dwelling on the past, because I would do that so often especially about things that hurt me. I finally got over it. Now I live in the present and try to make the best of it daily.

    We learn from our past and we should use the lessons to focus on our future. We have a choice. We can live in the present or dwell on the past and be miserable because we can't change what has happened, but we can learn from it and make the most of the future.

  2. Yes, ultimately it comes down to it being our choice on how we want to deal with our life! I know I've spent most of my life focused on the 'what if's?' and squandered a good part of my life in the process.

    It can be such a difficult thing to accept especially when it comes to your children. I've watched a lot of other people do the same thing and it has destroyed them to the point where they give up on living. I try to think of it as trying to drive while you're staring in the rear view mirror.

    I'm just trying so hard to focus on staying in today so I can concentrate on making the best of the rest of my life!

    1. Thanks Randy. You're right it does come down to our choice on how we want to deal with our life.

      I hope you continue to focus on staying in today, so that you can concentrate on the things that matter to you.

  3. I think it's human nature to dwell on the past and look back through "what if" eyes. As you say there will always be things we think we could have done differently or we wished had worked out differently. I am certainly guilty of that.

    I couldn't agree more that we need to change our mind set to looking forward, as we do have the choice to influence our future. After all our life is in the present and the future.

    1. Yes I agree with you. We have a choice to look back in the same way we have a choice to influence our future.

      Influencing our thoughts to leave the past behind to work on the future isn't easy. I think that is what some of us may have difficulty with.

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