There is still a mental health crisis out there. Having a website gives me somewhere to write and work on my mental health, but away from my writing, since my twin passed, I am just about keeping my head above water and making little progress. It is important to keep your head above water.

Catching Covid

I caught Covid last year in December a couple of weeks before she died, so couldn’t physically say my goodbyes. There isn’t a day go by where that doesn’t sit with me.

I miss her. We both struggled with our emotions but differently to each other. But like everyone, emotions have to go somewhere. Mental health thrives when you're comfortable in your own skin.

Ruminating

I remember a conversation before my twin died where she said she forgot to ‘tap into her.' With autism I spend a lot of my time in my own company, in my own head. That helps me get to grips with me.

I still ruminate because life with autism has just got a whole lot scarier. I still go around the houses.

Knowing about mental health

I wish I had have known years ago what I know about mental health now. When it comes to our loved ones, I am sure we all wish we'd said more, perhaps done things differently. I think we both think that now. I've learned a lot since my twin's death. I'm making little progress moving forward, because I am still trying to adapt in a pandemic.

As I continue to write, I have a sense of knowing Sheila's with me. She sees everything I write in 360 degrees. She knows what I know. She's more than aware now and she's okay with it all. Tucked away in spirit, Sheila's a spiritual angel... we're on the same page now. We both have a sixth sense.