I have been observing, since I was a little girl. As someone who has struggled with my head my whole life, being locked away in my head for years, I found it easy to observe.
Observe to understand
To observe is to understand. Listening is an observing skill, without listening with full intent or commitment, it may be difficult to internalise what you're observing well enough.
You also won't understand what you think you're hearing, and you may not listen sufficiently enough to understand what is being said correctly. It is easy to misconstrue what's said when you don’t observe, or listen attentively, to what is being said. It is easy to take what you want from conversations, depending on where you're mentally at.
The 'Five' Senses
Each of us have our five senses to observe. When you listen to observe, you're telling others you're interested, and want to know what they have to say. Learning to observe helps us to listen, so that we can stay more informed, and so that we can make better choices.
The 'Ego'
When the ego becomes the issue and we don’t listen to what's being said, we will always make choices that when we look back, we know they were wrong. It is important to observe so that we may gather information because that means less mistakes and better communication.
Learning to observe also means better communication skills. Train your mind to work from the conscious, so that you continue to observe things in the moment.
Everything changes when you learn to observe, but don't observe through your ego. Where decisions are made through the ego, the ego wins, and catastrophic mistakes are made.
Talk about wearing rose colored glasses. I learned to observe at a very early age. There were a lot of things going on that I didn't understand and nobody took the time to explain anything to me.
My mum particularly, did a lot of gaslighting and brainwashing, so I would ignore what was really going on; it's no wonder I was always so very confused. People always talk about having a 'normal' life which is something I wasn't able to relate to.
Now it's a matter of paying attention to what's really going on, rather than what other people are trying to tell me, which is what I was a victim of for so long.
It annoys me when people tell me things like Just get over it, when it's not quite that easy. The pandemic is a prime example of people ignoring what is happening right in front of them. Denial can be such a powerful thing, when people take full advantage of when it suits their needs!
Thanks Randy. What you described wasn't ideal and shouldn't have happened, but when we look at our experiences in the whole, they set us up in how not to parent, although we may not always equate or understand that at the time.
I believe the life we're given initially is the life that is meant for us, but there is also a part we can change as we grow and move forward.
When you say, 'it is a matter of paying attention to what's really going on, rather than what other people are trying to tell me' - as your experiences show, not everyone will have your back and that's not on you.
Being able to change certain aspects of our lives means we must observe. Without us observing and paying attention, we will change very little.