During a conversation with my father, he acknowledged mistakes, which helps me, but he couldn’t remember all of them in any detail.
I cannot change those mistakes, but they did become part of my life and legacy for a while. The mistakes our parents make over the years do become part of our lives, but that doesn’t mean we can’t move on from them.
We can break childhood legacies, the mistakes made by our parents and communities, by changing our attitude, by the way we think about things. A lot of our life consists of repeated negative patterns that have been passed on. Those patterns are what need to change.
It is important we think about our life, write down some of what we remember, the memories that we know we have been affected by, so that we can see those patterns. At the end of the process, it is important we understand and get to change our own negative patterns.
Growing up my mother always gave to others and she would go out of her way to give us whatever we wanted and my father was basically the same way.
I give to others as much as I can, so I guess I learned it from my parents. I was raised with good values from my parents, I just didn't have the independence.
My parents were over protective of me as I've mentioned before, so when I was out from under their thumb I went crazy.
Now I see the over protection as being a bad thing; but I find myself treating my children the same way even though they are adults, I want to protect them from everything.
You said it Lisa. The pattern of your parents is now the pattern of you, brought about by your parents influences on you growing up. It's not something we're consciously aware of.
You're just doing what you know and what you've seen.