When we have dealt with our past, we will emotionally and spiritually grow and that means we will start to live in the present.
What living in the present means
Living in the present, means you'll be emotionally happier, more content with yourselves and happier with your life. It also means you're less likely to want to revisit your past, or reside there. Living in the present, also means you can work from a different psychological space, than those who are stuck, or live in the past.
But whether your relationship is with a parent, spouse or friend, it is important to emotionally move on. Being stuck in the past isn’t always something others will understand, but for those living in the present, it becomes evident.
When anyone is mentally stuck and they're living in the past, they will have difficulty coming to terms with the fact that others have moved on. It also means they can see others who have got their life together, as a potential threat to what is an already fragile relationship.
What living in the past means
It’s time to stop living in denial. Living in the past means you're not willing to confront your issues. But living in the past is more than that: it not only stops you from thinking in the present, it stops you from living in the present.
Although our experiences should help us to confront our issues and change the way we see and live our lives, it’s not right making others the scapegoat, when it’s us with the issues.
This seems to be one of my biggest issues, as I can't let go of certain things from the past as in choices I should have made, but didn't.
It aggravates me no end seeing as I made those choices based on other people's opinions of me, when it would have meant a chance for me being happy. The reality is that life definitely isn't always fair.
I have watched so many horrible people have the best things happen to them and not appreciate any of it, when I would have given just about anything to trade places with them.
Right now I have to once again make choices that will mean losing a lot of material things, but that is the price of freedom.
I can't continue blaming others for my life being so miserable, when it's me being trapped in the past and not dealing with my own issues instead of everyone else's issues.
Thanks Randy. I've had that too. But like myself in my childhood, you were unconsciously making choices based around your parents parenting. It really is time to let this go.
The universe will always strive to find the balance. It may see like horrible people get the best of everything, but that really isn't the case. From the outset it may look how we perceive it to be, but unless we know for sure, we will never know.
But we must all continue to put good out there, because good will always come back and stay proactive in our lives. It's not good enough for us to talk about doing. We must act on what we say we're going to do.
By dealing with our issues and moving on from the past is the ideal opportunity and the best way to do it.
My past seems to have a problem with the present stealing my identity. So I try to keep in touch with it, since it gives me a little bit of an edge, if I learn from it.
Of course, it would be mighty dangerous to visit the past and stay too long.
Thanks Tim, yes your last paragraph sums up your response beautifully and you're absolutely right.
Anyone living in the past is setting themselves up for illness, particularly if it's trauma that is attached to their experiences. As you say, keeping in touch with the past can give us the edge as long as we learn from it.
If our past involves trauma and we've taken up residence there, it'll simply mean we'll continue to live with unresolved trauma and that causes illness.
I continually revisit the past solely to write about my experiences so that I can bring understanding. To understand is to heal and to move on.
The past can serve us well if we learn from it rather than living in it. Sometimes for some people that is a fine line.
As you say much depends on our understanding and our willingness to find a place for our past, to enable our healing.
Thanks. Your last paragraph sums up your response and you're right. It very much depends on our understanding and willingness to find a place for our past.
The short answer is we don't, sadly. So many people live in the past and fail to change anything from their past. Our understanding is very much the catalyst for personal and emotional growth and change.
Living in the past not only does us and others an injustice and a disservice, but it also makes it harder for us to function and for our relationships to thrive, particularly where we have experienced trauma.
It is important we deal with and learn from our past so that mistakes and the old patterns aren't repeated.