Feeling invisible or overlooked can leave deep wounds of emotional neglect. For much of my life, I carried the weight of feeling invisible with something I didn't know I had. Not because I wanted to, but because subtle barriers always left me at the edge of conversations.
The messages were there in the silences – you don’t quite belong. Living with quiet neglect over the years, left its mark. From what I could physically see, I said to myself, it had to be something.
Growing up that thought lingered and shaped how I saw myself.
What I didn’t know was that being overlooked is a form of trauma. When you grow up unseen – it teaches you to internalise the idea that your feelings don't matter, that you don't matter. This understanding has been highlighted in research within the autistic community, where experiences of being misunderstood and dismissed are often deeply felt.
It's a subtle invalidation that time quietly erodes your self-worth the trauma of being overlooked, feeling invisible or unseen. The wound of being unseen, runs deep – especially when it's something you experience in childhood and it continues into adulthood.
Healing from emotional neglect, isn't something you just “get over,” but it is something with understanding that can bring you acceptance when you learn to remove yourself from any blame.
When you're literally given no choice, you eventually learn that your experiences are not about you. I am resolute that I couldn't change anything and for something to have played out differently, or changed for me, my circumstances would have had to be different. I go back to trust. It was only decades later that I came to see the trust had not been there.
The concept of double empathy has helped me to re-frame these experiences. Originally explored in autism research, double empathy emphasises that differences – whether those are neurological, cultural, or emotional often lie at the heart of these misunderstandings.
Double empathy shifts the focus from trying to fix difference to fostering mutual understanding. It calls for patience, compassion. By society – embracing diverse ways of experiencing the world, it creates space to understand and to recognise that typical thinking is not a universal standard. (Source: reframingautism.com)
As an adult, my healing journey has meant reminding myself that autism is real – and it’s something I live with every day. Healing hasn’t been about denial; it’s been about seeking out safe spaces where I am truly seen and heard, and learning to champion my own worth when it isn’t always acknowledged by others.
Writing through The CP Diary has been an important part of that process. It gives me the space to express how I feel – feelings that might otherwise remain unnoticed or unspoken. By sharing my experiences with autism, healing, and self-acceptance, I not only make sense of my journey, but also hope to encourage others navigating similar challenges.
