For many years, I lived with guilt and constant regrets that left me agitated, stressed and angry. Each day felt like a new battle. Every way I turned, my disappointments and failings continued to stare back at me.

I couldn’t get rid of the guilt, particularly with school. It was constantly clouding my judgment on new situations. Thankfully the more spiritual I became, the more things began to clear and change.

I began to see that my years of guilt had everything to do with my lack of control as a child and the decisions that we're being made for me. I had never been mentally and emotionally supported, living with a disability I didn't know I had.

Any guilt or regrets we carry, regardless of who those belong to, can keep us stuck in the past and although it took me many years to let go of the guilt, when I did, it finally felt like a release.

As my perceptions began to change, so too did my life. Slowly, I found the courage to begin to change some of the things that were holding me back. Now I see the decisions I make, as stepping stones to a changed life.

As I evolve and grow spiritually, I also rely on my intuition to help me pave the way so that I live with no regrets moving forward.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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4 comments on “Living with no regrets”

  1. I have a few regrets that I can't change, but I can do better now to improve my life.

    I think as we see our downfalls we should leave them in the past and move on in a better direction and change now. Don't keep having those regrets or your life will be full of "I wish I had's..." Now I say I'm glad I did.

    Growing up, my parents did make a lot of decisions for me, but that is what parents do and mine made those decisions even when I was a teenager in 12th grade. I didn't get to go on trips with my classmates because my parents didn't think I would be safe enough, but I'm over it.

    I've forgiven them for holding me back from a few things. I'm probably better off now anyway.

    1. I think we all probably do Lisa. Regrets tend to get a grip until we deal with them and let them go.

      I think you're right. Parents particularly when you and I were growing up did tend to make decisions for us, based on what they wanted for us, but not necessarily what we would have wanted for ourselves.

      I like you have turned my back on my regrets and in some ways I have now made up for them and I'm in a better place for it. I believe regrets can make us stronger and more determined as we work to change what's been, so it's not all bad.

      I am pleased you feel better about your regrets and have chosen to forgive your parents. I still believe parents parent with their own set of tools given how they've been parented by their parents. But as generations move on, some of us will do better.

  2. It's important not to live with regrets as it's a very negative state. It's better to do something about them, no matter how small.

    We can't change the past so we must work as much as possible to ensure it's influences don't hurt us.

    1. I agree with you.

      We cannot always do something about the past, but believe we can change the way we perceive the past so that we live our lives without feeling bad about any regrets we've left behind.

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