There are moments when I wonder if I will ever fully come to terms with the trauma that’s shaped my life. It’s a difficult truth to hold, because hardships and trauma have been my constant companion. From childhood, I’ve only known trauma. I've lived through more than I had the means to understand – physically, emotionally, and mentally.
One of the most difficult aspects was living with difference without knowing why. What I had was not a label, it was never mentioned. I trusted. I was left to navigate a world that didn’t explain itself, with a body that didn’t work well. My education was shaped by the choices my parents made, that left me in a system that didn’t support me or my educational needs.
Where my twin was keeping up, I was struggling and falling behind. I was aware I was, but nothing was ever done about it.
I would have already succumbed to disease, if I wasn't talking about trauma. A counsellor once said to me, “you’ve known nothing else.” That thought stayed with me. It's still with me and she was right – I've nothing else. I didn’t know what it was like to be seen, to be validated, to be understood, to be listened to, to be supported.
Even as the adult that hasn't changed.
Now it's important I start to acknowledge my emotional wounds, my inner child. I need to finally give that younger version of myself what it deserved, what it always needed: kindness, understanding, recognition, clarity and time to emotionally heal.
What's your 'Story'?
