We’re all capable of working through issues, but we often lose motivation when people continually undermine us and who are the reason behind our lack of motivation, how we feel about ourselves.
It may be that you know people, who continually bring you down, who leave you to defend yourself. If that is the case, it may be time to think about the relationship and how things could change. To do that we should be instrumental for seeking out change. There is never a right or wrong time to deal with abusive behaviour.
It’s not something we should have to put up with. If this is something you deal with, then perhaps it’s time to think about yourself and choose to work on change.
Yes, I have been dealing with someone who expects me to know how to do things, but then treats me like an idiot when I don't; which is very degrading and emasculating, to name a few things.
It has made my life a living hell for far too long and I need to seriously look at why it is that I would tolerate being treated this way. It seems like something that paralyzes me at the thought of working to change it, which doesn't make sense to anyone around me including myself.
My mother treated me this way for most of my childhood, so the only thing that I can figure out is that it's what I'm used to in a very sick and twisted way. I have spent most of my life wondering why others would tolerate being treated so horribly, when I have been doing the same thing myself.
Now is the time I have to work on facing my demons while I still can and try to make the best of what time I do have left.
Thanks Randy. Where you say, 'I have spent most of my life wondering why others would tolerate being treated so horribly, when I have been doing the same thing myself.'
Your paragraph above Randy sums up your response completely. When we see others being treated in this way and we recognise this for ourselves, that's the time we need to do something about it.
As soon as I was aware of what I'd had to deal with around a disability I didn't know I had that's when I began to slowly make the changes and haven't looked back.
The worst thing we can do is look back and wish we'd done something about it.
It's concerning to me when we allow people to bring us down, emphasis on allow.
But I fully understand because I allowed someone to bring me down a few years ago. Of course, I will never allow that again.
Thanks Tim. It is concerning when others choose to bring us down.
I'm not sure how clear cut it is though. Do we allow it to happen? If we do, it's not always on a conscious level. This type of behaviour usually stems from the history we have with that person.
I also think it depends on what's going on in society, in our communities, in the world. But it starts with us.
I'm not sure anyone would wittingly allow or want someone else to take control of their life. It's all about mediation.