The thing about being a twin, or part of any set means that you will always see yourself and your life that way. Since my twin passed two years ago, life is difficult and it is different now.

Being part of a twin shaped my world. It shaped the lens through which I saw my world, the good and the bad. It wasn't just about having someone by my side from birth, it was about the way my identity was formed in relation to hers. We grew up being accustomed to being part of a 'WE' so now it feels lonely, almost impossible to live as just 'I'.

With my twin no longer here I have lost part of myself. The symmetry of my existence has been cut. Everything feels disjointed. As I continue to navigate an already difficult world, I do so in solitude. The reflection I saw everyday is missing. The internal rhythm of my existence in being a twin is forever altered.

Truthfully, I'm lonely and she's gone prematurely. Mentally and emotionally it now takes an effort for me to put one foot in front of the other. The past never leaves it lives in today. The relationship we had, the good and the bad, walks with me every day. It's difficult to comprehend those days are not a reality anymore, but the truth of those days linger.

There is the odd day when I reconcile and things feel easier, then on other days, I struggle to comprehend I'm here on my own. Although I see myself as independent, losing a twin has made me realise just how deeply entwined our lives were.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

Most people who read this blog

went on to read these blogs next
Date 22 October 2026
Author Ilana Estelle

Do You Have To Forgive?

Finding closure by letting go of guilt and responsibility that were never yours to carry Every child has a right to know who they are and what they are living with. This is part of my healing journey. I spent much of my ...
Read more
Date 19 October 2026
Author Ilana Estelle

The Understanding I Didn't Have

Living With Cerebral Palsy and Autism Six decades of living with cerebral palsy and autism without the understanding that might have helped me make sense of myself. What happens when you go through life with ...
Read more
Date 17 October 2026
Author Ilana Estelle

Healing Without All The Answers

Living With Unanswered Questions There comes a time when trying to understand your past means accepting that not everything will be explained. You can spend years finding information, piecing together your experiences ...
Read more
1 2 3 … 690

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Subscribe to receive regular updates

Enter your details below to be the first to receive updates on new articles on my blog.