Excuses are reasons to defend the way we behave and to avoid acting on something we should be dealing with. Excuses are a means of negating responsibility.

But we can either continue to make excuses, or we can put things right and get our lives back on track. We’d rather talk ourselves into excuses, than deal with what we know is the truth. We would rather give ourselves reasons to stay where we are, than give ourselves reasons to change.

We make excuses as to why we can’t do something, instead of giving ourselves reasons why we can. In the short term it may seem easier, but in the longer term it’s not. As we apportion blame and continue to make excuses, we will stay stuck and that means we will never change the process of moving away from excuses.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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6 comments on “Making excuses”

  1. So true. I agree with everything you have put here.

    I try not to make excuses, but I do anyway. Usually it's because I don't want to confront someone. I'm afraid of causing a riff in our relationship or hurting someone's feeling's. Other times it's just because I'm lazy!

    We really shouldn't make excuses I agree. We should just bite the bullet and get what ever over with.

    1. Thanks Lisa. I agree with you. We should just bite the bullet and stop making excuses.

      When we stop making excuses, it will help us sort ourselves and others out too, particularly if we're making excuses for other people, including our children.

  2. Yes, I've spent the majority of my life making excuses for things I did or didn't do, which does leave you stuck in place! I've let my fears, doubts and insecurities take over my life to the point where I was afraid of doing anything to make my life better.

    I often blamed others for stopping me from doing what I wanted to do but the reality was that I was the one stopping myself. Only now do I realize that I can actually change things for the better and I don't have to feel guilty for doing so.

    I just want to be able to enjoy the time I have left!

    1. Yes I've been stuck in place too Randy! What you've said in your response will probably resonate with many of us, but we do have the power to change things.

      You've taken the most important steps of firstly acknowledging the need for change and secondly recognising that you have the ability within yourself to change and that's great Randy.

  3. This is very true and I think we are all guilty of making excuses rather than 'manning up' and tackling our issues.

    It seems that avoiding the real issue seems the easiest way of dealing with it sometimes, but long term this rarely achieves anything. I agree with you that this also means that we harbour blame for longer than is necessary and that can be harmful to our health.

    In my view, this is not to say that each of every issue has to be tackled and aired. I still believe we have to use our commonsense and digression wisely.

    1. For me it would have to depend on the circumstances. It all depends on who we're making excuses for and what that person's done. There are some issues or circumstances that simply cannot be excused.

      We should always weigh up each situation separately and agree with you that we use our commonsense to determine the outcome.

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