March 24th will always be etched. Firstly it’s 'our birthday' and with my twin now in heaven, it was my first birthday without her, the exact same day we adopted Nelly, our golden retriever, a year ago.

I have to move forward

As I notch up yet another number and year without my twin, I am reminded that I have no choice but to physically move forward without her. Nelly, our golden retriever now has two birthdays. Her adopted birthday, March 24th, which she shares with us and her biological birthday which is on the 22nd April.

Feeling empty

How do I feel going solo? Empty. It's not two years yet, but it is my second birthday without her. Truthfully, empty, like an empty vessel and the void can never be replaced.

I still have the memories

I still live near to where my twin lived, 3 doors down. It's time to move on. We're in the process of trying to sell, trying to find somewhere to move, so I can physically and mentally move. A difficult ask, all I will say is it's ongoing.

I'm different not out of choice

But I know Sheila will move forward with me. I'm not happy about the prospect, my health, what I've been through; tinnitus, the swollen muscle, the tooth loss, the facial pain for 10 months. It's now 15 months into twin loss and I'm different through the other end. Not by choice, but necessity.

I was a little wobbly through the lead up to my birthday. Having taken a reading and hearing from my twin, I am feeling somewhat better today.