When I look back at my anxiety struggles and challenges, not knowing about my physical, mental, or emotional disability, didn’t do me any favours.

If anything, it allowed society to judge and form opinions about me and my struggles and challenges continued. I’ve never shied away from ‘me’ which is a good thing, but in not knowing about my mental and emotional disability, about my anxiety, because of my 'non-disability,' it allowed society to continue to form their own opinions of me.

Oh, it's just Ilana

Without school knowing about my mental and emotional disability, everything was put down to ‘oh it’s just Ilana.’ My school grades were dire, my yearly record cards, belied a different story, a hellish time for me, and opinions that didn’t tell the ‘truth’ on what was really happening around a mental and emotional disability I didn’t know I had.

Looking back, I can’t believe this was my life. Even now, as I type this, I am struggling to comprehend the enormity of what I was made to live through. No child, young adult or adult should have to live this life. It is the reason I took to writing my first book, Cerebral Palsy: 'A Story.'

Mental Health

I am not bitter about it, but I’m not happy either. Mental Health is a thing, it’s everything we need to maintain wellness, which can change very quickly. I have already lost three members of my family to cancer.

Given the global pandemic, mental health needs to be our priority, and simply put it's not. It is my priority because with anxiety, I continue to fleet between mental illness and wellness.

Anxiety is something I deal with, and something of a challenge, That for me continues to be a work-in-progress.