"When I found out about cerebral palsy, I wanted to do something positive for the first time. I’m not sure why I thought about a website, but it did seem like a positive thing to do. With a very late diagnosis, I could start researching and writing about my experiences, I could find out about my disability. Recently diagnosed with autism, I need to do the same, so I can finally understand and come to terms with my neurological difficulties.
Finding out about cerebral palsy in my forties and autism in my fifties isn’t how my life should have gone. We all have a right to know what we deal with. But it was always obvious to me that there was more to my problems than what you could physically see. I love the fact that I see things in black and white. Something either works or it doesn't. Being able to see everything in black and white is a gift. It helps me to see issues and situations as they are, rather than how I would like them to be.
Because of a damaged brain and heightened senses, I see things from a totally different perspective – although it's impossible around communication and social acceptance, I have become more accepting of me. My writing is a gift. Although I find it difficult to express my thoughts verbally and relate those back to people, I have no problem expressing my thoughts through writing. Uniquely, even as a child it was a gift that was with me. I didn’t know it then, but it is a part of me now and I love it."
Now you have your diagnosis, I believe you are right in saying your Autism is a gift. You simply couldn't do what you do without your Autism and I believe you were chosen for this path.
You can now make sense of your life and not many of us can say that with honesty.
Thanks, yes I agree. I am happy to leave your response with you.
Knowing is half the battle. This is what I have come to believe. I refused to want to admit that I had any issues, let alone accepting any of them.
I'm still not there, as far as being able to see any of my issues as a gift, but I imagine that one day I will. I also have a very difficult time expressing myself verbally, but find it so much easier when I'm writing it down.
I grew up in a world where we always had to be careful of what we said, so it's no wonder I get so nervous and tongue tied when I try talking to people.
It will probably help me out tremendously when I'm no longer forced to deal with someone who actually thinks that I choose to be the way I am, when nobody in their right mind would ever want to be this way on purpose.
Thanks Randy. I agree with you. No one would choose to be a certain way if they could do things that were easier, and we're able to live an easier life.
The more we deal with our issues and put those issues behind us, the more we will see what we've achieved as a gift, even if the gift isn't specific.
But through all that we deal with I still believe we owe it to ourselves to put ourselves in a much better emotional space.