Now that I have had autism confirmed, I need to understand the whole autism thing. My writing and what I write are part of an autistic thinking brain. It’s taken me a lot of years to work that out.

In my case, cerebral palsy is directly linked to both brain damage and autism. The reason I am autistic and struggle with anxiety is due to extensive damage to my frontal lobe and some damage to my right parietal lobe – areas responsible for regulating emotions, perception, and reasoning. With these regions impaired, my brain has adapted and compensated in its own way. Even as a small child, I had a heightened sensitivity to shifts in my environment and, to some degree, could intuitively read people’s emotions, temperaments, and personalities.

People sometimes believe that children or adults, who are absorbed in their own world, don't respond immediately and who don’t verbally communicate are without feeling; are not able to sense what is going on around them, or are unaware of other people’s emotions, or are non-receptive to verbal or physical expressions and requests of another person, but that's simply not true.

I simply knew I was different. But now, with the truth finally in hand, the missing pieces fall into place. It doesn’t change the past, but it brings knowing for the first time. I no longer need to search for an explanation because I have found it.