I didn’t have many wants as a child in the material sense, but I did want to know why I had a foot that looked different to my normal foot, why I had a leg with no muscle tone, a shortening in leg length and why I couldn't walk heel toe. That inquisitiveness never went away.
It is natural for any child to want to talk, even more so when that child deals with a mild disability, and although I have my writing to help me understand and talk about my challenges, they don’t replace my experiences, they’re still there.
What it may do is give us the emotional strength to reconcile. Although we may generally not want to live in the past, in my case it is difficult with 57 years of trauma, not to hold on to, or to have to revisit from time to time.
Even if I would have had a name to my disability, I wanted to talk about my disability, any child wants to know how living with a disability makes them feel. Children need to know they are understood.
To be told we understand, would have been a start to my less challenging life. I still struggle to comprehend its enormity at times.
Yes, it would have been great to have had parents who acknowledged that I had issues and at least attempted to do something about them.
The reality was they were oblivious to our needs while expecting us to take care of theirs. Only recently I learned what the term with my mother was, which is called 'emotional incest', creepy as it sounds!
I am reminded daily of what I went through, so I can definitely relate. It would have been great for us both, if we had parents who dealt with our issues, rather than act like they didn't exist.
Although our issues are different, they are similar also, in that we were left to our own devices, to get on with things we couldn't get on with.
With a term like that Randy, it must have been difficult for you. A lot of what you had to deal with, will have been hidden from the authorities.
It's a shame because in 2021 steps would have been taken to get the help you needed. I am sure you already know there is no excuse.
In your mum's case where it's clear she had mental problems, it would have been for your dad to take control.
What I find sad is that where your father could have taken control he chose not to, which meant you and your siblings we're exposed to your issues, to your lives even more.
Yes, like you, I also struggled; I am sure your parents know that now. A little late in the day, but rest assured they will know.