I remember having an intelligence test as a child because doctors needed to work out whether I was mentally retarded. It is not a word they use today, thankfully.

My 'special needs' test

The test I should have been given was a standardized intelligence and standardized adaptive skills test based on my learning difficulty needs. The test I had, was more like a standard school entrance test for three year olds.

The consultant advised my father the test wasn't altogether a true measure of whether I was capable of learning, but it would give them an idea of my learning capabilities. There were concerns.

My father was asked to report back periodically, so that if he had any concerns about my education, those concerns could be addressed by the relevant authorities.

I didn’t understand what was wrong with me, I assumed my father would handle everything, so the issues of my education could stay current, and so that doctors could keep a watchful eye on me, so that I didn't slip through the net.

We learn about ourselves as we grow

As we go through adolescence, we learn about ourselves as we grow. We become more aware of life and what goes on around us. We begin to understand our strengths and weakness, what we excel in and what we like to do.

My intuition

It was into my thirties that I became aware of my intuition and that opened a whole new world I didn’t know existed. Although I found a different way to learn, I still have an immaturity about me, but it's not always obvious. With the extra support around my learning both in and out of school, I could have fared better.

Intuitive practices promote growth and maturity

With a disability, our ability to learn, grow and mature doesn’t happen. Over the years, I struggled to learn. Through intuitive practices I have growth and maturity. As I look back on my life, through my added education and accomplishments, like Kate Winslet, who was also written off, I have proved my critics wrong.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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4 comments on “My Education”

  1. Yes, it can be very frustrating and disappointing when you think about what should have been done by your parents but they didn't so you had to learn how to adapt and overcome on your own.

    It was only recently that I was diagnosed as having ADHD, which would have been nice to know when I was a child. I always had trouble focusing when I was a child, which I always attributed to the way we were living at the time.

    My parents never seemed to notice, so I became one of the many who fell through the cracks back in the days when these issues weren't acknowledged.

    It just makes me wonder at times as to what I could have really accomplished had I received the proper treatment at the time but, now I will never know.

    1. A different scenario for both of us but the same outcome Randy. I'm with you there, I feel your pain.

      I was once told when I first went into counselling that I needed to change the issues I struggled with, one of them being my education. And although it would go on to take another 15 years, I did go back into study and changed my education and have never looked back.

      Although you may not want or feel you're capable of achieving something new now Randy, I believe you're more than capable. With the right help and support from your parents and school I believe you too could have made some advances.

      We can't change our past, but we can change our attitude towards our past and find ways through. It's the reason I started my blog.

  2. Your life would have been very different had your parents confronted your disability and put you first, rather than themselves.

    It is clear from your blogs that it was never going to be any other way. I guess they hoped you might never find out and that really is a selfish life they led. Also it meant they missed out on the real you.

    You went on to study in a way that worked for you and you have managed your feelings well and shown us fortitude and positivity which we would otherwise not have benefited from.

    1. Thank you. I think where you say, 'I guess they hoped you might never find out' those are my thoughts too.

      But that goes against the universal practice. And whenever we go against the universe, the universe will always have other ideas. It wasn't something that would stay hidden, particularly as I made it clear I wanted to know.

      I understand my life enough to make a judgment call not carry the negativity. And with a beautiful website to blog to everyday, I do feel privileged.

      I also know I couldn't do what I do without this life, or my experiences.

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