It's been a little over 2 years now that I have ventured out into a shop to browse its shelves. Everything just seemed to fall into place, over the bank holiday weekend.
Armed with a mask and visor, I went into the shops for the first time, and I couldn’t have been prouder. On walking into the shop in a busy retail park, my eyes caught the attention of another shopper like me who was also wearing a mask, but without the visor. I didn’t feel I was in any danger, I didn’t feel people’s eyes peering, it felt normalised for now.
Feeling poorly
I went for a walk a couple of hours later, thinking this is great, I love the freedom and I can do this, but that didn't go to plan, because half way into the walk, I started to feel really poorly. What I didn't realise was, I was having a panic attack, I couldn't breath, I was bent double and had severe pain around my abdomen.
I managed to make my way back to the house slowly; but it took 6 hours for me to recover. The next day I felt sore. It has to be small steps. Anything else for me, just doesn't work.
Any precaution is better than no precaution
Around the virus, if more of us thought along the lines that restrictions are lifted, there is no cure presently, taking any precautionary measures has to be better than none, more people would stick with the measures, stay protected and cases would decline. Although there are less deaths with Omicron, an everlasting cold without an expiry date isn’t great, and you’re keeping you and vulnerable people like me, safe.
My 'old life' is gone
The reality is that my old life has gone. I can’t go to the theatre, restaurants, coffee bars or pubs (public houses). I used to periodically have a pedicure and manicure, but that’s also gone. I can’t meet up with anyone, unless the meet up takes place outside. When the weather gets better, I can mask up and go to a park, and blowing caution to the wind; perhaps go to a coffee bar or restaurant, to sit outside. The virus isn’t finished, but the government behaving like it is, is putting us all at risk.
Whilst none of this is ideal because I still have anxiety, I’m also not keen on being a hermit. That is causing my anxiety to get worse and is keeping me stuck.
Being somewhat comfortable, yet suffering from anxiety while out in public for the first time, was my experience too.
The best we can do is sail through these times safely and intelligently as we can.
Thanks Tim. Yes, either situation isn't ideal. We should all want to ease the pressure for each other and be a support in the pandemic. The more we all mask up, the less anxiety you and I would have. The pandemic is showing a different side to all of us.
Where we should be pulling together we have become more separate and that is causing anxiety; even if it's not something you struggled with, pre-pandemic.
I agree with you, we should all 'sail through these times safely and intelligently as we can' - I do think though that has to include incorporating mask wearing also.
To live comfortably is to continue with the necessary precautions, so that we can all stay safe. To think we can navigate the pandemic without any precautionary measures is mindless.
We will all lose out.