We all have a journey through the choices we make, and even if it’s not the journey you want, it becomes your journey, the longer you’re on it. It's down to us to change. We can all change course.

Through my writing I changed direction and that became my journey; it's been long. My disability, although out of reach as a child, gave me hope, and it never left.

I couldn’t have foreseen my 'writing' life, but life does have a way of correcting and balancing, but we also need to be instrumental in how we want our lives to go. There is a blame war going on, without responsibility and accountability, which inevitably leads to mental and physical illness, that sometimes can be fatal.

In my own life, I remained determined and steadfast in my resolve that I would eventually have a diagnosis for a non-diagnosis. The dread of going to the grave without a diagnosis weighed heavily, but I was determined not to give up.

I was hopeful my life would come good. I made 'hope' my friend. I needed to be heard. I was a spirited child, and an independent thinker. Yes, I was angry throughout, but also steadfast and I was determined not to quit.

I believed and held on to hope, I remained resolute and that stayed with me. My journey, my choice, yes... absolutely. There is nothing I would change.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

Most people who read this blog

went on to read these blogs next
Date 26 July 2026
Author Ilana Estelle

Living with Difference

Seen, Misjudged, Rarely Understood For most of my life, I lived in the dark. Not because I didn't know I was different, but because I didn't yet have the understanding to explain why life always felt harder than it seemed to be ...
Read more
Date 24 July 2026
Author Ilana Estelle

The Hidden Effects of Loss

Some consequences aren't immediate, they're cumulative It's five months into four years through twin loss, and I've split another tooth. On its own, it's an ordinary event. But it's an event that made me stop and look back ...
Read more
Date 19 July 2026
Author Ilana Estelle

What Writing Taught Me About Self-Understanding

How writing became more than a creative outlet When I started writing, I had no idea where it would lead. I simply needed somewhere to put my thoughts – a place to make sense of experiences I struggled to understand ...
Read more
1 2 3 681

4 comments on “My Journey, My Choice”

  1. Well, your journey has been my journey too.

    Through your literature, I have swam in the deepest part of the ocean, as have all your readers.

    I knew right away how to respond to this blog, give yourself the credit you deserve.

    1. Thanks Tim. Credit is not something I easily recognise, but when I go back to read some of my blogs, I understand why.

      I love that my journey is your journey too, it's a journey for everyone. Your words speak volumes on what I have done and continue to do. I wish I could feel and bag those feelings. I am more disabled, than I imagined I would or could be.

      But it doesn't take away your words, your feelings, your thoughts and I am thankful and grateful to hear those. My literature isn't just my literature, it's all our literature, it's universal.

      The pandemic is never far away and I write about it. I know there has been talk for sometime in the UK that the 'pandemic is over'. And mental health has never been so ignored as it is now. We started really well.

      What I find both sad and irritating is that all of this will be short-lived. We're not done with the virus and the virus certainly isn't done with us. I implore people to pick up on their own journey through the pandemic, to make different choices around their mental health.

      Like Arnold Schwarzenegger once coined a phrase, 'I'll be back'. The virus is coming back. The science is clear. Mental health issues have very much been evident in these times.

      It is important to keep it well and truly on the radar.

  2. Yours has been quite some journey and one which you embarked on and have travelled with courage and determination, and one which we can all learn from.

    1. Thank you. Yes, when it comes to mental health, we should all be honest with ourselves.

      But my journey isn't just my journey. It's for anyone willing to put the work in, to change what it, to what can be. We tend to exist and follow the same patterns and routines without dealing with anything, (having done it myself until I started addressing my issues).

      Part of our journey is to deal with our issues and not many of us do. I hope my 'books journey' will encourage others to embark on their own journey also.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Subscribe to receive regular updates

Enter your details below to be the first to receive updates on new articles on my blog.