Looking back on my symptoms over the years, it's obvious I have been dealing with stress and anxiety since I was a small child and they're something I continue to deal with.

Kenophobia

I have also been dealing with symptoms very similar to Kenophobia and have been since my mid-thirties. Kenophobia is an irrational and persistent fear of buildings that have a big sense of scale to them. I first noticed the condition when I visited an old steel works science museum that had a vast open space of 4 to 5 storeys high.

Kenophobia symptoms

My symptoms were striking, because they came on very quickly. I began to feel anxious, panicked. My breathing increased, I started to hyperventilate and that brought on rapid breathing, panic and fear. I needed to get out.

It is generally accepted that phobias arise from internal pre-dispositions, i.e. genetics or hereditary, some phobias being traced back to a triggering event, or traumatic experience very early on. It is also accepted that hereditary, genetics, brain chemistry, combined with life-experiences all play their part in the development of phobias.

My inability to rationale

In my case, my inability to be able to rationale or remove anxiety away through my neurological impairments, is the reason why I struggle. Experiences and symptoms and how those manifests themselves is personal to me, but my inability to be able to work through experiences because of my neurological impairments makes what I deal with worse.

My Anxiety Disorder

Because I am not able to resolve certain problems that need to be resolved, they continue to manifest themselves in my anxiety disorder. My symptoms include, extreme anxiety and dread, rapid breathing, inability to articulate clearly, irritability, lack of focus; feelings of powerlessness, feelings and fear of losing control.

This also happens in circumstances where I have no control of an outcome and am struggling to find an answer that would take away stress. The reality for me is that the more I understand my symptoms, the more scary it all feels.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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4 comments on “My Kenophobia symptoms”

  1. My fear of heights can wake me up in the middle of the night screaming, slipping and sliding right into the hands of my pillow.

    I've never associated that fear with a medical condition, but my symptoms are the same as yours verbatim.

    1. I feel this is exactly why my blog works. I'm not happy that you struggle in the same way. I wish that were different for both of us.

      I know that my altered brain chemistry and anxiety, based on my experiences growing up are the reason why I have this. Anxiety and what you've had to deal with also growing up, is the reason why you're also struggling with this condition.

      I believe that when we look closely we will have the answers. That's what I tend to do. I am so pleased my blog helps you bring closure too.

  2. This sounds a debilitating condition which could be frightening at times. I wouldn't call this an irrational fear, a fear is a fear; so it is very genuine.

    I am pleased that at least you have been able to define the condition and you can learn more about it now and possibly how you can try and control your symptoms too.

    1. Thanks. Yes, not only did I not understand my symptoms or why I presented this way, I am now working on ways to control the symptoms I know I have.

      With something like Kenophobia, you don't go in thinking you're going to get sick, but very early on you're presented with the problem and it's just there.

      If it's not easily manageable and it isn't for me because I already have a brain impairment where my emotions are significantly affected, it's simply easier for me to stay away.

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