I tend to often reflect situations that upset me, to see if I could have done things better or differently. That way I bring closure more easily and stop blaming myself.
I know that organising my wardrobe around Claudia’s graduation wasn’t going to be easy. I still struggle with the Cerebral Palsy what to wear in the summer thing. I wanted to wear something which said summer, so that I don’t stick out like a sore thumb, but didn’t quite manage that.
Sadly, I was still struggling to put a wardrobe together two days before St Andrews, having started planning a couple of months before that. The clothes I already had in my wardrobe, weren’t really summer clothes, or what I would have chosen to wear, but couldn't find anything else appropriate that didn't shout out Cerebral Palsy.
I find it sad, but know I’m not unique that often what we want to wear isn’t what we end up having to wear for all sorts of reasons. My nemesis is Cerebral Palsy. Being born with brain damage isn’t something I can correct, but I need to get better at challenging the way I tackle situations that I know affect me more than others.
In the winter months when I cover up and wear boots that I’m happy because my issues are mostly hidden. To the untrained eye, yes it’s mostly hidden.
Now that you make that point, it makes sense as to why my daughter doesn't like to go out a lot. She would have to try to find clothing that was appropriate, but also easy enough for her to deal with putting on by herself.
I imagine that she would be self-conscious enough as it was, with her physical issues that make her Cerebral Palsy rather obvious and I know she doesn't like the unwanted attention. I guess I hadn't really considered it from her perspective, or yours, about how difficult it must be at times when all you really do is want to blend in.
I feel horrible now for all the times I was pushing for her to get out more, when I wasn't considering how it would be for her. It sounds like something I will have to remember to consider, since both of you have those issues to deal with!
Sadly, yes it's always something we have to consider, at times I wish we didn't.
I am sure your daughter would let you know that was a part of what she deals with. As you say though, having Cerebral Palsy does make us more self conscious; particularly when it comes to how we walk.
That is definitely another reason why anyone dealing with Cerebral Palsy might be reluctant to go out.