"Cerebral refers to the brain, palsy refers to the impairment or loss of motor function, therefore as we age – the impairment and loss of motor function gets bigger the more our brain cells decrease.

Living with cerebral palsy means my brain determines how my body moves. There are days when I struggle to co-ordinate walking down the stairs. My brain and legs seem out of sync – whether the signals aren’t being sent or my muscles aren’t receiving them, I don’t know.

As cerebral palsy affects the motor area of the brain’s outer layer (cerebral cortex) the part of the brain that directs muscle movement, it makes my struggles with muscle and brain co-ordination make sense. My legs don't want to move, so I have to go slowly.

I also have to be careful not to misplace my step on the stairs. As a child I ended up falling down the stairs as a result, or missing out the bottom stair. I can't tell you how many times I've done that before, but now it's getting worse."

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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6 comments on “My Struggle with Stairs”

  1. I used to handle stairs easily, until arthritis claimed my knees. I suppose those early years as an athlete has finally caught up with me. The word stairs means trouble sometimes.

    Ilana, are there any exercises that may help you with muscle and brain co-ordination?

    1. Thanks Tim. Yes, there is a correlation between intense sport and joints.

      There are supplements that should help with your arthritis, diet plays a big part too in slowing down arthritis. Oily fish is one particular food that reduces the swelling in joints.

      If you need some help with either, just let me know. The honest answer to your question is, I don't know. I will be happy to look into that further.

  2. Your blog shows that it is misleading that people say cerebral palsy is not progressive. While the brain damage might not progress with age, clearly the consequences of the brain damage do progress.

    It's okay to take your time going up and down stairs, your safety is more important that anything else, so don't feel pressured to go at anything other than your own pace.

    1. Thanks. When you say, 'while the brain damage might not progress with age, clearly the consequences of the brain damage do progress.' That's right.

      I believe it. I am also living proof of it. The scary part is not knowing how things will continue to work out for me, as I age.

      I will definitely look to see if there is anything that will help with brain and muscle coordination.

  3. Most people wouldn't even notice that someone has that issue and try to be patient, as I've seen happen with my own daughter, due to her cerebral palsy.

    I find it sad since others would expect others to be tolerant of them, if they had those issues. It's also pretty obvious that it would be a degenerative condition over time, seeing as it is eventually going to get worse, not better.

    I'm sure that people have treated you like you weren't even trying, but they can't seem to comprehend that the wiring is there, but just not connected.

    I'm one of the few people that would be able to understand, since I have been through it with my own daughter and just wish that people could at least try to be a little more understanding.

    1. Thanks Randy. I needed to hear this today. When you say, 'it's also pretty obvious that it would be a degenerative condition over time,' difficult to hear, but something I need to hear, others need to hear also.

      I'm not one to sit on my laurels. I tend to find ways through through either my diet, or lifestyle choices. I am finding the healthier I am, the easier things are, although I am under no illusion, I'm not out of the woods.

      I'm fairing a lot better, with what I do than without.

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