I’m annoyed, frustrated and angry at what’s going on in my life. I am annoyed at not being able to work through what I need to work through this week.

I am annoyed at the system not caring enough, when I needed help from the system. I’m annoyed at not having any support growing up. I’m annoyed at feeling annoyed. I’m annoyed at others saying they care and not showing they care. That annoys me the most. Any assault takes time and patience to work through.

I feel better that Daniel is happy to go back to University in February at the start of the second semester. I feel better that I’ve come through the fog that was clouding my judgment. I feel better that I am eating normally again. I feel better that my life is more-or-less back on track and that I can function again.

I feel better because I’m feeling calmer now. I feel better that I’m feeling stronger, and that I didn't give up. I am also feeling better that Daniel is beginning to feel slightly better with what he has had to deal with. We’re heading in a more positive direction now. I feel better about that too. Rant over.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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6 comments on “My troubled week”

  1. I am glad that everything got better in the end. That's what I call a mystery of life. We never know when it comes and goes.

    We just do our best and work through as much as we can.

  2. Getting things out like that really does help us. It's not healthy keeping things bottled up.

    Glad you were able to get it off your chest and that you're feeling better.

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