“Silly girl, your different was you beautiful all along.” - Atticus

I was never considered beautiful because I was born different. No one ever saw me like that. Growing up I didn’t have a problem with being me, but others needed to let me be me, whatever being me meant.

The World Needs to Change its Attitude

The world needs to permanently change its attitude, to see difference as beautiful, instead of those differences being something to fix. Imagine a world with just one type of flower, one type of tree, one type of animal and one type of human being. As we see beauty in one thing, we must see beauty in all things without being opinionated, thinking we know, or by being judgmental.

It's Not for Us to Judge

It's not for us to pass an opinion on anyone. Instead, we must be patient, tolerant and understanding on what others deal with. But being different is beautiful in the same way as having a kind heart is beautiful. It's important we see the beauty in everyone and everything.

True Beauty Comes from the Soul

True beauty radiates from the soul – it is pure, unshaken, and unquestionable. When we take the time to look beyond the surface and into the soul of someone with a disability, we see a rare and disarming authenticity. There is no need for pretence, no ego –only a genuine innocence that the world often overlooks. Beneath their exterior lies a heart untainted by malice, one that offers kindness.

Before my father's passing, he confirmed that out of all of his children, I had that.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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2 comments on “Needing to Be Me”

  1. It's hard to imagine that you weren't considered beautiful since I think you are, inside and out. You're definitely one of those people who has what they call 'an old soul.'

    I'm sure that's why I can relate to you, because I was considered to be different too, because I was a scrawny kid and I was forced to wear glasses after a girl tried to brain me.

    Needless to say I was bullied constantly, but it wasn't like my parents ever did a whole lot to protect me, so I had to learn to fight or get beat up every day.

    I just have such a hard time comprehending why it is that some people even bother having kids if they don't want to take care of them or just aren't capable.

    It would have been nice for both of us, if we had been treated like normal kids instead of the nightmares that we had to endure.

    1. Your response means such a lot to me Randy. Yes, it would have been nice. In a world that wasn't normal for either of us, I feel it is normal now.

      Sometimes things come too late for us in terms of being able to change anything. But through my blog, everyone including our parents are also aware.

      I'm not sure what their thinking would be, but they are aware.

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