Negative people aren’t necessarily sociopaths or bullies, so I get why some say they wouldn’t distance themselves. But having lived that reality, I see it differently. Too much negativity, if left unchecked, can seep into every day life—it's quiet, but corrosive. It's always best to deal with negativity before it takes hold.
Negativity through Trauma
Continual negativity is part of being traumatised. If we haven't been traumatised, but we're in the habit of being negative for negative sake, we can’t expect others to fall into line with how we are. For anyone who is mostly negative, it is important to explore and understand why you're feeling negative, to rule out depression.
Negativity is a form of Hopelessness
Negativity is a form of hopelessness, a sadness and irritability, but feeling irritable isn’t great – because it can make you feel anxious. Although negativity isn’t easy to brush aside, it’s something that we can work to change.
Conclusion
Give yourself time to find understanding on why you feel negative – it is something we can help ourselves with. Negativity can manifest into something bigger, if it's not nipped in the bud. Long-term negativity can turn into depression. Events such as losing a job, losing a loved one, an inability to cope and control our circumstances can be a trigger.
My parents were always very negative people which made our childhood a living hell. It's no wonder I kept trying to have the same type of relationships, with women who were angry and negative, usually blaming their problems on me, like my mother used to.
I never quite understood why they bothered having children together, seeing as they made us feel like we made their lives so horrible. They constantly argued about how miserable they were together, but never did very much to change things.
It's no wonder I felt so worthless, but I finally decided last year that I didn't deserve to be treated badly and have worked on changing my life for the better.
Thanks Randy. Yes, you live what you know, but you know something better now Randy, so that's good. You know what it feels like to live with and be around negativity, but you can change that now.
I love that you say that last year you came to the conclusion that you didn't deserve to be 'treated badly.' I also love that you're choosing to change your life for the better.
I'm with you on that. You deserve better.
It is incredibly difficult to deal with a negative person and their mood can bring us down too. Walking away from these people is not always an option, so I try to understand their negativity.
There is usually a reason for their negativity, even though the person involved may not be aware or may not wish to accept the reason, but in my experience, dealing with it is aways fraught with difficulty and usually arguments.
Thanks. I understand your comment about walking away from negativity is not always an option.
Throughout my life I have always been faced with other people's negativity and have chosen to distance myself.
Looking back it was always the right thing to do, but agree it can be incredibly difficult, particularly when their negativity is made about you.