Yesterday I woke up to a New Year and I’m not looking back at all the negatives. Looking back just allows us to pick fault with issues or circumstances we could have improved on or even changed and that's not helpful.

I’ve never bought into the idea of resolutions, I tend to concentrate on myself, making myself better than I was the year before. I believe that when we concentrate on making ourselves better, we’re more likely to be happier with how we see ourselves. It also means that if we go on to make any New Year resolutions, we’re more likely to stick with them, because we’re happier.

A New Year isn’t about notching up things from the past year we could or should have changed, but should be about moving forward and accepting that we can't change what's past, but can always continue to make ourselves better so that we make a difference in our own lives.

What’s done is done, there’s no point in dwelling or looking back on what's done. All looking back does is make us more miserable as we notch up another set of issues we cannot change.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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6 comments on “New Year thoughts”

  1. Great post. Well said. I share your view entirely and I am looking forward to 2014 positively.

    There are many people who I see or read about everyday whose circumstances are so much worse than ours, and that makes me much more positive about my own little 'issues.'

  2. I don't believe in resolutions either.

    I see them as something that we're more than likely going to fail at and then we're feeling bad because we've failed.

    I will work on myself and improving myself. Working on the future.

  3. Looking back at all the negatives only makes me feel so extremely depressed, so it's not worth the morbid reflection.

    I had some of those thoughts of when I left my daughter and her mother and what I should have done, which only serves to make me feel so terrible, to put it mildly. I'm trying to skip the resolutions this year and just focus on the things I can change.

    I look at it as trying to drive a car while always looking in the rear view mirror which wouldn't work very well. I'm hoping 2014 will at least be a halfway decent year for a change!

    1. Thanks Randy. It's up to us whether we have a half decent year. To some degree we steer ourselves in the direction we want to go!

      I'm not sure how clear cut our circumstances are Randy. Yes you recognise things you could have done differently, but that's so true of life. It made sense to you at the time; going over old ground isn't always helpful as you've come to realise yourself.

      Sometimes we just have to let go and move on. In most and in my own experience that is often the right thing to do.

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