Not enough listening and too much talking. Our job isn’t so much to give our opinion, but to listen instead, or better still, allow the other person to ask for an opinion, without us thinking it’s our given right to give one, let alone stand in judgment.
Perhaps that’s where we’re going wrong. We assume we have a given right, rather than think about what’s right or what the other person wants. To assume is to limit the mind. To assume is to accept without proof, neither of which will help us in the longer term.
Whether we’re a parent, teacher, or work in another professional capacity, it’s up to us to make sure we work with an open mind. We will never learn to communicate or understand other people’s wants or needs without listening effectively, or even listening at all. We can assume and think we know, but we can never know.
Unfortunately, when life revolves around our own wants and needs, we make our life about us and that’s the mode we live in most of the time. We don’t stop to think about others, we assume because we’re talking they must listen, when the reality is they’re talking, but it's us who should listen.
The world is made up of those who are full of their own self-importance. What they say usually goes, or matters and what others say, often pales into insignificance. We need to perhaps think about and put others first, listen more to what they have to say and come to understand what they expect from us. Communication is key.
When we take our ego out of the equation, we will learn to identify with people more on a soulful level. That means talking less, listening more and using mediation as a communication tool.
I can't help but wonder if fear is the reason why we zero in on ourselves, too much at times. Like falling into an endless pit of me me me.
I listen because I get a deeper understanding, not only of myself, but of other people. We should be able to listen even when we're hurting.
Thanks Tim. Yes, I believe it's even more important we listen when we're hurting, particularly if we're in danger.
I do think though that you have a point, when we live with fear we lose control of our emotions at around the time we begin to panic. It's in those times that logic goes array, but we must at least try to stand back and if not listen to ourselves, listen to others who may be trying to help.
If we all learned to listen more, we'd be more kind and conciliatory. The world would be different.
I agree. We as a society are hung up on self, especially the younger generations.
Being in nursing, I'm appalled at the poor listening skills of the medical profession. It seems like we hear of one complaint and not the whole story because we're to busy prescribing a medication to "fix" the issue.
And once you get that first problem out of your mouth that's it. Nothing else matters like the other symptoms or problems. People don't take the time to listen, they are in such a hurry to get to something else, like lunch or leaving work on time.
I use the medical profession because I'm more familiar, but I'm sure other professions are just as guilty.
Thanks Lisa. Sadly, the younger generation tend to lack some of the skills the older generation still have. They're more self-absorbed. What happened to empathy, compassion, tolerance and patience?
Younger people tend to listen to themselves, or their peers more. They're either not brought to task, or they don't care about anyone, but themselves.
I agree we're not great at listening. We also don't accept criticism. Perhaps our lack of listening has got something to do with having things on our mind that take us away from 'listening attentively' which is accepted, but it's no excuse of course.
We would all be better off, the world would be so much better if we all thought about others more, than we do ourselves. You're right.