It takes time, effort and energy when it comes to making decisions, but we use even more energy when we choose to sit on the fence.

Unfortunately, when we sit on the fence we’re usually in conflict over making a decision; we’re in two minds and just can’t decide. When we can’t decide, we waste time, effort and energy, as well as living with the frustration of not being able to make a decision. We certainly have no peace when we choose to sit on the fence.

I grew up around people sitting on the fence. By letting others make decisions for us, we give up control on making our own decisions. That isn’t always a problem for those of us actively choosing not to make a decision, because we’ve already decided we're happy to go with the views of others.

Unfortunately, the problem with that of course, is that if the other person's decision doesn’t turn out the way we want, then there is no room for complaints, but it’s always a frustrating time when we’re left to make decisions, because those around us won’t and who sit on the fence.

The other problems are that we will continue to sit on the fence when someone asks for our opinion or we’re asked to make a choice. I am constantly seeing first hand, how being indecisive leaves opinions divided and then sets us up for a fall; because others just won't make a decision. I was once told that if you sit on the fence long enough, it breaks and that is so true.

In the longer term, it not only causes problems amongst siblings and family members but in relationships too.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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4 comments on “Other people's decisions”

  1. Wow that's exactly the point I'm at, where I feel like I have been sitting on the fence my whole life!

    I've always left a lot of my life decisions up to other people and would then get very angry about it afterwards, like I didn't have any choice in the matter.

    I'm really in a tough spot right now due to this and now I know that I'm the one who has to make decisions about what I'm going to do in my life.

    I just have to be able to have the strength to make them and stick with them for my own good,no matter what!

    1. You're absolutely right Randy, your decisions are for you to make. As you say no one can make them for you.

      I hope you turn things around soon.

  2. Being indecisive isn't a good thing. We should make decision and just get it over with.

    I think we know what we want, I just think we're indecisive because we're afraid of hurting other people's feelings, or want to be selfish.

    1. I can understand your thoughts Lisa. Some of your thoughts may be true for some people, but unfortunately for me, my situation was very different.

      I had no decisions to make growing up because they were always made for me. Luckily it hasn't stopped me making my own decisions, but it has affected other members of my family.

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