Ever since I was a small child, I have had people in my life who unconsciously cared, but consciously didn't know how to care.

I also think given the current climate, this is how the world seems to work. Some of us may go so far as to change a subject, so as not to be drawn into a conversation that may shed some light on how that person thinks or feels.

Show you care

It’s never easy for us to show someone we care, if we've never done it. If we don’t care about ourselves, we’ll replicate that in our own lives and with other people. It’s always difficult for anyone who has to read between the lines... it’s usually the things we leave out that create the problems in our relationships.

Our values

I know that if I had time again, my values would still be the same. I would still do what I have always done; would still continue to care; it’s who I am. Underneath the exterior of anger, this is how I was. I’ve been doing it since I was a small child.

Our ability to care starts with us. We get one crack at life, therefore it becomes important that we care about ourselves, it’s important we say we care and to show other people that we do care. Any little gesture we give will help.

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Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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4 comments on “Our ability to care”

  1. I agree with all of this.

    I was a very uncaring child, I just thought about myself without giving 'two hoots' about anyone else or how my actions affected others.

    It has certainly led to some difficult relationships to say the least, but I have learned to change things and now I feel I'm doing better.

    1. In most cases, we behave in a way that seems appropriate given the circumstances we find ourselves in and believe our upbringing is very much part of that scenario.

      Change the upbringing and the scenario is likely to change too. The problem is though, that it takes a long time to changed learned behavior and that is what people find all the more difficult.

  2. I was raised in a very caring family and they are still that way today especially my mom's family. I know if I have any problems I can go to anyone of them with them. That's how I am too.

    My family and friends and others can come to me any time and I may not have the answers but I am there and I care. I think that's why I'm a nurse, because I care and want to help people the best way I can.

    1. It's really lovely that you have such a caring family that rely on each other. I am so pleased for you.

      Unfortunately it's not always a given as my experiences have shown, but I believe even without the grounding there is still no reason why we cannot learn to care and be there for each other.

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