As a child, I never thought about whether I would eventually take on my parents' approach to problem solving, but it's easy to see how we would.
As the years rolled on and I became the adult, I knew I had to find a different approach because their approach didn’t work. They seemed constantly stressed, more anxious, more irritable, they worried about everything. Their minds were never still.
Perhaps, therefore we need to work with and understand ourselves first. How we think, how we feel, what makes us, us. The more we become aware of just how we work, the more we can become settled in ourselves.
I also believe the more we come to understand our lives, the more we will learn how to sort our problems out. We need to get to know ourselves more, both on the inside and out.
I was fortunate that my parents expected me to grow up through their distance learning course!
As there approach was very much 'hands off' I was able to learn to fend for myself and solve out my own problems, my way. That was my approach.
That sometimes worked out and sometimes it didn't, but at least I did the decision making and whether those decisions were right or wrong I have benefitted from that.
Your parents lack of parenting clearly allowed you to think about whilst learning to make your own decisions and become independent as a result.
That might have worked when you were a child, but as adults we have much more in the way of considerations and being singled minded and working on our own doesn't work. As adults we have other people to take into consideration and must remember to let them in. As you rightly say though, your mistakes were yours to make.
Yes, and we need to know that there is a solution to every problem if we don't panic. Sometimes we have to listen to the quiet of the universe to help solve our problems.
Thanks Tim. Yes we do need to know. I think over a period of time we can get better at working out solutions to our problems.
Experience and listening to the quiet of the universe can give us that, but it's a skill we need to hone and that isn't easy.