However hard it is to look back at our own lives and feel cross that we missed out on things, it is our family that must be our priority.

Often the decisions that were made for us, were based on what our parents expected us to do. Looking back on those times can be very painful, but even though we cannot turn the clock back or change what we missed out on, we can change the way we perceive those times and how we see our future.

Although we may fail to achieve our potential growing up, we must be determined that if we have children they meet theirs. In the bigger picture our lives turn out how they’re supposed to. We should learn to embrace that concept.

Still continue to work on the things you know you can change, not the things you can't. That will only set to hurt you more.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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4 comments on “Our priorities”

  1. I missed out on a good bit, which is partly my parents' fault for being over protective and partly my part due to being a rebellious teenager, but you're right, things turned out how they were supposed to. I can still experience some things now like going back to school and getting out and socializing.

    I let my older kids make their choices as far as their lives went. If they wanted to go to college they had the opportunity. If they wanted to work, they could work. Neither one of them got licensed to drive until they were in their early 20's so we had to do most of the chauffering around, along with friends they had. They made some mistakes but it was thier choice and they understand that.

    My 5 year old will have the same opportunity as his sisters had, but with a little more supervision due to his disabilities.

    1. Thanks Lisa. From what you say Lisa it sounds as though you turned things around so that you gave your children the opportunities. That's good.

      We can always go back and change things for ourselves if we feel we need to, but it's important to give children the opportunity even if they make mistakes in the process.

  2. Certainly when I was younger, a lot of my decisions were based on what my parents wanted. Until I moved out for 4 years did they realize that I could live on my own. My father said that I would never be able to do that but I proved him wrong.

    It was a experience that I wanted to do, to prove to them and myself that I was capable of doing it. It made me grow as a person which is good.

    1. Yes having our independence does makes us grow as a person, both emotionally and physically. I know that you were dealing with a lot given your CP, but it's a shame your parents didn't put more trust in you.

      You should have been given the opportunities instead of you having to prove to them that you could manage without them. I am pleased you did though.

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