Outwitting my fate is something I shall never regret. I showed up, subconsciously and consciously. I wanted to do more with my life than give in to something I didn’t know I had.

Being different

I was always aware there was something different about me and those years were difficult. Over the years coming face to face with my rock bottom, came in the shape of a commitment to change my mental and emotional health and I finally found a purpose in the shape of The CP Diary.

Staying present

I stayed present, and never gave up on wanting to find out what was wrong with me, wanting to know about 'me.' It was important my mental health didn't get the better of me.

I had already worked out that if I had ignored my issues, my mental health would start to take a knock. My gut kept telling me I needed to bide my time, and my time would come. I was confident about that.

Courage and determination 

But outwitting our fate takes courage, a determination and hunger for us to change. As a child, I didn’t think about success, but I don't think you do. Instead, we may think about what we want to do when we're grown up and whether we may find success. In many cases, it is simply changing what is, and watching out for any potential opportunities.

In years of working through change, I could never envisage or know how that would pan-out. For things to work out, our intentionality, what we intend, should be in keeping with what the universe expects, to make sure we're not stepping on anyone's toes to get what we want.

A burning desire

My only burning desire as a child was to know about what I thought was a disability. It angered, irritated and upset the hell out of me to know something was wrong with me and not know what it was. Those were difficult years.