It is easier to placate than to challenge. To placate means to pacify, appease, make peace, but we cannot challenge anyone to make peace with themselves, or others,  unless they want to.

Simply, we must challenge ourselves to change the way we respond, but trying to placate someone who is challenged, is not easily achieved. Whatever we say, if someone is that way, they will always potentially argue, and put their own slant on things.

It’s not always about what we say or how what we say. We may be careful and say everything right, but it's often how others perceive and receive the conversation.

Although communication is where this all starts, if we all chose to work together, everything would be less of a challenge.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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2 comments on “Placate vs Challenge”

  1. This sounds like my last relationship, where it was easier to placate my ex, rather than try to argue with her until she got her own way.

    I was raised in a world where it was easier to placate my parents, and other people, rather than try to fight. Obviously this doesn't get you very far in your own life, as you always end up doing what they want.

    It didn't make sense to me why others kept choosing to stay in toxic relationships, but when that lifestyle becomes the norm, you don't know anything different.

    I got to the point where I decided to fight back, as I realized I deserved better, and it's one of the best decisions I have ever made.

    1. Thanks Randy. I think sometimes we do have to mentally fight back, just so that we get to live the life we want.

      Yes, it tends to get rather messy when one person gives all the time and the other person thinks it's okay to take, without giving back.

      It also depends on how our conversations finish. The softly, softly approach will always works better than going in guns blazing. We will always get the best out of people that way.

      Give and take is even better. That way we will never have to placate or challenge.

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