On the back of my week last week I thought it’d be a good opportunity for me to reflect. On some days, I have clarity, on other days my head feels slightly jumbled. As hard as it is to watch the one you love go through trauma; generally, as a parent it’s our job to be able to take children’s pain away.

All we can do is try and be there for them. The assault has changed everything. It’s difficult to go through something like this and expect lives to stay the same. Our thoughts, our feelings and our take on the world has changed. One day seems like another and whilst our days play out uniformly, we try and make sense of all that has happened.

The sleepless nights are a constant reminder we’re dealing with stress. Stress acts as a gentle reminder of what we’ve been through, what we’re still going through and how we have a long way to go. As individuals, we deal with stress differently. I usually talk things out. Others may inwardly contemplate their own issues.

The hard part of trauma is watching someone work through trauma. When I look back over the last two months, I see how far I’ve come but it doesn’t seem far enough. As things continue to pan out that helpless feeling will be with us for a little while longer.

Until such a time the road ahead seems clearer and with more clarity on any future decisions we may have to make.

 

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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6 comments on “Reflecting on where I am”

  1. I am glad it is getting a little easier to cope with this. I know when I was in the most stressful situation with my mother's terminal illness, there were days when I thought, is it ever going to end?

    Just keep trying and pushing forward you will get there. I have no doubt that you and your family will survive this and come out stronger on the other side.

  2. Glad to hear that you're coping with things.

    Guess I've been doing a lot of reflecting myself, which has kept me stuck in my head for too long now. Time to get out there and pay attention to the rest of the world.

    1. Thanks Randy. It would be great to get you get out there! It's good for us all to reflect from time to time.

      Thank you for posting.

  3. I'm glad you're getting on better.

    I've been in stressful situations that I thought would last forever but they didn't and sometimes I came out better off after the crisis was over.

    1. Thanks Lisa. I think you're right, we sometimes come out feeling stronger through having to deal with stressful situations. I believe that too.

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